I Won't Label Her, Lest I Tarnish All Others Who Share That Label
Because nothing compares when one exceeds the absolute limit.
Hence, I will refer to her as "The Mother" in this story. This is simply a statement of fact and is not meant to defile or define other mothers.
A letter to The Mother.
Photo by Salah Ait Mokhtar on Unsplash
Mother,
teach your son well
do not impose
your resentments, disappointments
and failures on him
he is your son, but he is also himself
he has his own life to live
he is not your prisoner nor your property
Mother,
a child will eventually grows up
you cannot cage him forever
do not be jealous
do not teach him to respect only you
like everyone else deserves nothing
because only your needs and feelings matter
he needs to learn to respect other women too
Mother,
do not teach your son to raise his hand
on someone else's daughter
no matter the reason
never allow slapping
never allow shoving
never allow strangling
do not encourage him toward abuse and violence
do you want the same thing to happen to your own daughter?
Mother,
do not try to shut down
someone else’s daughter for speaking her truth
silencing the victim to cover up shameful acts
this is about what your son did behind closed doors
so what if he claims he did it out of love for you?
does that make his actions right?
does that allow you to smear her credibility
just to make yourselves look better?
if that is what you think, stop and hesitate
before you grab that body bag and rush to your son's side
to clean up his crime and bury her
Mother,
you are not always right
in this case, you are almost never right
do not try to ruin her life
simply because of selfishness and jealousy
you may win the short game
by suppressing your son forever
he will always be your son
but if you continue this way
for sure you can retain him
but you will be left with a son
who does not deserve to call himself a man
Mother,
you demand her obedience and respect
did you ever show her the same respect?
you treated her name like some unspeakable old demon
whose name shouldn’t touch your lips
you used every opportunity
latched to whatsoever excuse, to undermine her
this long-term petty emotional warfare
could be one of the longest wars in history
Mother,
you are the elderly one here
i know you are not as helpless or witless
as you are trying to lead him to believe
she has been ruined beyond recognition
by these malicious effectiveness
her body is now frailer than yours
she never stood a chance to outsmart you
it is obvious who the truly helpless one is
Mother,
please stop with your tether
aren't you tired already?
don't you have better things to do?
do not increase your own son's sins with your own hand
will you only stop when he accumulates all of them?
woman beater? abuser? murderer?
when he becomes infamous?
Mother,
enough already
there is no such thing as an obligation to be tortured by you
nor to pretend that you never did any of those things to her
nor to be forced to listen to your lies as if they are gospel
i’m not acting out of petty revenge
i wish you no harm, because your suffering brings me no good
but if you refuse to repent, i hope you get what you deserve
don't instigate any more strife
don't try to jinx them with your dark art
don't try to drive a rift with a seer
Dear mother of his, it's the last thing I will do before you destroy everything. I implore you, be a human for once.
©Britt H.
Thank you for reading this.
More about the person behind the writing in My Introductory Post
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Some mothers make the big mistake of wanting to justify all the bad things their children do, without making the necessary corrections to their behavior. In the long run, this becomes a big problem, and then they ask themselves, “Why me? What did I do to deserve this?” When the reality is that when they had the opportunity to do something, they simply didn't do it. A person's personality and behavior are shaped from a young age through good values and teachings. That is the foundation of every good person.
You are so right. The foundation has to be build properly. But if the mother thinks that she's always right and passed that to her progeny, they would stay in a circle where they kept corrupting each other. I watched a Japanese movie based on similar topic where the mother told the son to kill her own parents for money and she insisted she did nothing wrong and raised him well and the son still thinks he did nothing wrong even though he was imprisoned.
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Are you sure this isn't also a culture and religious thing?
I know thar beating the crap out of your children always has been seen as "goid" in the religioys environment I grew up, same for the inhumane way of forcing to eat (spoiled) food and the endkess humilating, scoldings, abusements and it always ended with the Bible phrase:
(that ended as I found the opposite phrases in that "holy" book:
are among them!
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It's not necessarily cultural. Rather, I believe it's a psychological problem that has become a vicious circle, as @enmabritt previously stated.
Children are very easily manipulated, and if we, as parents, whom they trust, do this to them, how can they differentiate between what is right and what is wrong? I don't think it's a question of culture, because it's something that happens in many different places around the world, regardless of origin, language, or religion.
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We can. I am a victim of a very violent childhood. I saw the difference, I was and still am different. I find it totally wrong to blame the childhood/parents for everything. We see others, visit school, have neighbours and the last thing abused and molested children are is blind. They see, feel and hear more. They are observers and smart because they are survivors. Character plays a very big role.
Children are not more or less manipulated than parents, neighbours, politicians and look at all those Steemians.
@wakeupkitty
How about the Dads?
If you ask me culture and religion also play a huge role in the sick development of a child not to mention the lack of intelligence and self-esteem.
In my opinion, both parents are to blame. The values instilled in a child depend on them. I have always believed and maintained that the best education is that which is provided at home. That is what really defines who you are, and that knowledge is complemented by the teachings we receive outside the home or in educational institutions. If that good foundation that should be laid at home is flawed, it is very difficult, though not impossible, for the person to turn out well.
Well, if you bet on home you are wrong in many cases. Religion does play are huge role (violence + abusement and looking down on girls included).
If it comes to IQ it is lower among certain cultures simply because there's a huge lack of education.
Oh no, frankly not. The best place to instill values in a child is and always will be the home; of course, there will always be exceptions, as not everyone is fortunate enough to grow up in a home filled with respect.
I have never relied on religion to educate a child... No, of course not; a child is not the same as an adult who can submit to the guidelines of a religion of their own accord.
Mothers and sons? I am not so sure about mothers's influence and raising. There is always a father, an uncle, there are other men being the example.
This is what I told my son:
"I put you into this world and be assured that if you ever show disrespect and raise your hand I am the one who'll kick you out of this world as well!"
I do not belueve in the blind love of mothers. By the way, there are plenty of mothers being abused and molested by their iwn sons, boys nit even 6 years old are already taught to look down upin their mother and sisters.
With you I do wonder what type of wimen do raise such terrible, narcistic, cowardly, disgusting men. 🤮
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