Keeping Death as an Advisor
Keeping Death as an Advisor
“Death is the only wise advisor that we have. Whenever you feel, as you always do, that everything is going wrong and you're about to be annihilated, turn to your death and ask if that is so. Your death will tell you that you're wrong; that nothing really matters outside its touch. Your death will tell you, 'I haven't touched you yet.” -Carlos Castaneda
Greetings fellow Steemians!
In this post I thought it would be a great idea to take a somewhat different short and scenic route, as compared to my usual “mini lessons” in drawing and painting.
I would say this story began in the summer of 2013, when I received my acceptance letter from The Aristides Atelier at The Gage Academy of Art in Seattle WA. It was official in that finally my lifelong dream was coming true in being able to obtain classical atelier training.
From that point on, something very strange came over me and stuck with me throughout my time spent in Seattle.
This feeling...this experience, is the reason why I am writing this post.
There is no doubt that this experience presents itself with its difficulties in giving it definition, however I feel dedicated to the task at hand.
In a way I guess you could say that this feeling could resemble a sort of pact with myself, or maybe something like a conviction or an attitude. In an abstract manner I think you could even condense it into a phrase, a quote, or a zen koan even. From then on I knew I had not much time. I began making plans upon plans as I was about to dedicate the next four years of my life to my academic training in September of that year. I even sold everything I owned! Still to this day I have no regrets.
Even though I was very well acquainted with his writings several years ago during the time I spent living in the Arizona desert; the works of Carlos Castaneda, particularly the writings revolving around using death as an advisor from his book “Journey to Ixtlan” shook me very deeply during this crossroad in my life.
“In a world where death is the hunter, my friend, there is no time for regrets or doubts. There is only time for decisions.” -Carlos Castaneda
I became deeply aware (almost instantaneously) in that I knew my time spent in The Aristides Atelier would be irreplaceable. I just knew that I had to do whatever it took to completely take advantage of every waking moment of my time spent there. The endless sacrifices I knew I would be making, I intuitively knew would be worth it.
Having the time and dedication in maintaining a “normal” lifestyle (sleep,diet, exercise, recreation) would be damn near impossible. My whole world was about to consumed in exchange for a perpetual life in the studio, doing nothing but learning and practicing drawing and painting of the classical tradition. I accepted it all in humble gratitude.
When I arrived and settled in my first year, I knew that as long as I kept my highest goals in focus, that would in turn strengthen and concentrate my efforts for the long term.
Living a life as simplistically as possible was key here. I suppose you could compare the life of one obtaining an education of this nature would be similar to a monastic one.
Besides for mastering the curriculum, just being able to maintain one’s own livelihood at the same time can take an overwhelming toll, which is one of the reasons why I came to the conclusion early on that it would be wise to keep my efforts single minded and weed out any unnecessary burdens.
“A warrior must focus his attention on the link between himself and his death . . .. He must let each of his acts be his last battle on earth. Only under those conditions will his acts have their rightful power.” -Carlos Castaneda
By using my own Death as an advisor, it helped me keep things in perspective. It maintained my course. It kept my vision clear. By being continually conscious of the scarcity and the fleeting nature of time, I took solace in the knowledge that it would propel me forward.
And so it did.
Wow you are the second artist this week that mentioned Carlos Castaneda !!!
Very interesting. I will definitely have to check him out :O
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