Filipino Tradition on Courtship+Pre-Wedding+Wedding

Tradition for me , are those you are used to. It can also be those that you inherit from your ancestors. This would include your beliefs, dance , music ,food , celebrations/ occasions , dresses , and even how you do things. This things usually differs in each country , some might be the same in manner but still there's a difference. And since this is like a broad topic, and you k ow here in Philippines , we got tons of traditions and i believe it would take a long long post to include them all, LOL. Anyway, i will be specific , this time i will write about Filipino tradition when it comes to courtship-relationship-marriage. Let's get familiar with it, let me take you to it stage by stage.

Courtship Tradition

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Serenade + love letters + flowers + sweat and tears. These are just some of the things that usually is inside tha traditional way of how Filipinos are into courting. Back in the old days , they say that courting is really hard , it's like you to pass that tiny hole of the needle before you can get that sweet yes. Usually it's starting with the boy sending or making love letter for the girl she wants , those sweet flowery words like a pro-poet to express what he feels for the lady. After that, the guy will like serenade and offer a song in front of the house of the girl , usually with his friends or musician playing guitar or any other instruments. Not only that, aside from winning the heart of the girl he wants , he have to like get the approval of the parents as well . He has to do this by rendering his service to the family like everyday preparing woods for cooking , getting water from a traditional well (that's how it is before) this is for the parents to k ow if the guy deserves their daughter's love and that he can do anything for the girl. Then the guy would have to wait for the sweet yes.

Pre-Wedding Traditon (Pamamanhikan)

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Some call it Climbing for Love , in filipino it's called pamamanhikan , from the word , panhik , which means to climb or go upstairs. So after courtship , long strong relationship , if lovers decided to get married , another task is needed to be done by the lover boy, and that's pamamanhikan. In here, the guy and his whole family would have to go to the girl's house to officially ask the hand of her girl from the parents and the whole family. It's a sign of high respect for the parents of the girl. What's happening is that, the boy's family will bring food for the pamamanhikan for both family . There are families who also invites , uncles, aunts of the girl in this occasion. They talk about the details of the wedding , dates , places , the wanted godparents and eating time. There are also times that the father of the girl speaks first to say how he raised her daughter then the father of the guy would say things about his son too. In the end it will be a simple family gathering to officially announce that the wedding is coming soon and that both families are all approved. In this stage as well is when the guy will give something to the family of the girl ( can be just to the parents) or something we call here dulot or dote , it can be money ,lot , jewels , animals like carabao, anything precious.

Wedding Tradition

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Filipino wedding is not just a celebration of love for two people, it's also like the bonding and joining of two families as one. The traditional wedding dresses for men are caled barong tagalog while with women is called Filipiniana . Also , traditional color is just white. With the ceremonies there are things that has symbols and meanings : (1)Arras - 13 wedding coins that will be blessed then groom will give it to the bride as a promise of welfare and he as a provider ; (2)the veil - usually pinned on top of the hair of the bride then on the shoulders of the groom, symbolizes that two individuals as one (3) Cord - same with veil it means to tie two persons in love , veil and cord done by the grrom's men and bride's maid.(4)Unity candle - both groom and bride will light two separate candles to light the unity candle at the same time that means they are together as one and not as individuals anymore. (5) The ring - since its shape is circle , it symbolizes not ending love , forever love. After the wedding , they have this reception where there are lotsa foods , before eating couple would need to eat sticky food , usually they eat kalamay , so couples will always be sweet. Next to that while all guests are busy eating , the couple will have their money dance , where anyone can pin any amount of money onto their dresses, and that would be an additional income for the couple. After all that celebration, maybe a day or two after the wedding, the thing called dapitan time , idadapit na , means the bride would have to pack all her things then come and leave with the groom and his family.And they live happily ever after.

There you go a glimpse of some of the Filipino trditions , i believe i might have missed many more of this but those above are mostly what it is about. You know, we might have different traditions or beliefs or simply our own ways of doing things , but we are all humans, having a mind that can understand and a heart that can love on another.

much love,