HOW ALCOHOL STEAL OUR FATHER FROM US AND HIS HAPINESS

As Mr. Webster define alcoholism, it is defined as the continued excessive or compulsive use of alcoholic drinks leading to psychological and physical dependence or addiction. This is what exactly happened to my dear father. His name is Exuperio Macapundag, a 58 years old man. My father used to be a happy man, a family man, a responsible father to us. I can still remember his very own story told to us when we were still in highschool, that according to him, alcohol was introduced to him when he was still 14 years old. At 14 years old, he used to be a motorela driver or to some countries it’s called a motor cab vehicle or to some it’s a taxi. It was introduced to him by other drivers also. They do some drinking sessions during their free time. He is the third child from the eldest of the eleven siblings and since his father is only a government employee and his mother is a housewife, being a “kuya” or elder brother, he has to work to be able to help his mother and father, to bring food to the table for his little sisters and brothers because his father is working away from them with the work assignment and his father’s salary could not sustain the whole family since payday only happens every 15th and 30th day of the month. He was then a working student but when his little siblings has need for school, he had to double his time for him to provide what they needed and it causes him to be absent on his classes. From then, he starts losing interest in school and ended up an undergraduate of highschool. He then met my mother and get married. He had 5 kids. We are those kids.

While we are in school, he continued his driving not until I graduated from college. I told my mom to let my father stop from driving the motorcab because I told her that since I have already graduated, I will be helping my mom in all her expenses at home and we will let my father rest from driving since it is not anymore good for his health. We thought our plan was good, but it proved us wrong. The moment he stopped driving, it was also the moment where he started his everyday drinking sessions. As in “everyday” he drinks those alcoholic drinks. I graduated from college in 2005, from then he is drinking wines or rum everyday until this January 2018. During his drinking years, we always told him not to drink too much but he never listened to us. He gets angry with us and even told us that why don’t we give him the remaining years of his life for him to enjoy. Those were the years that alcohol steal our father from us. The loving father, responsible and proud father to us was lost. Our happy years with him were outweighed by our “grrrrr” years with him.
We got used to it. That everyday he gets home drunk, and smells the alcohol from his body even if you are a meter away from him. It’s like his perfume is the alcohol already. He started not to care for his hygiene anymore. They are friends with water no more. He doesn’t like to take a bath everyday, and even to brush his teeth. My father don’t want to eat anymore. From 80 kilos, he now weighed 58 kilos.

Last January 13, 2018, we lost a neighbor and was his friend. He did the three days vigil at the wake of his friend and that was three days straight. He never slept for three days, stayed at the wake of his friend and with continuous drinking! After that three days, everybody at home were very disturbed with him because he was very restless. He hallucinates and call names even if that person is not around. We tried to let him calm but it’s not working. On the fourth day of no sleep, my mom decided to bring him to the doctor. A psychiatrist. He was diagnosed with alcohol psychosis. The doctor gave us prescription for his brain to let him relax, the following day, he cannot get up anymore. We called the hospital and admitted him. For the first three days he was restless. nurses and doctors wrestled him because he’s starting to get wild and he’s talking to himself. Fortunately after that 3 days, we can talk to him already. He got back to his senses. But this time, he doesn’t talk clearly anymore. His doctors talked to us frankly that in able to help my father, we have to get him into a rehabilitation for alcoholics. Here in the Philippines, when we speak about the word “Rehabilitation” it has a negative effect on the patient. At first, he doesn’t wanted to but when his doctor explained it to him, he nodded and said he wanted to get well.

this is my father dear at the hospital

Just this January 31, 2018, we contacted the rehabilitation where we decided to enroll him, and the rehabilitation told us that they will pick my father at the hospital the following day. Last February 1, 2018, Thursday, they picked up my father at the hospital. At first he got afraid and told us to go with him, but the staff of the rehabilitation did not allow us, we just explained to him that we are not allowed to go with him and while explaining to him tears were rolling down our cheeks. We are holding those tears not to roll down but we really can’t hold it. Seeing our father be away from us it really hurts but we really wanted to get him well. We remember that during those times that he gets home drunk, we all get very angry with him because we feel pity for our mother, but during the time when he was fetched by the staff of the rehabilitation center, all of us were crying and starting missing my father. After all he is still our father.. Now he is already in the rehabilitation center very far away from our place and we are not yet allowed to visit him for three months, all we can do is to pray hard for my father.

Now that he’s away from us, his doctor talked to us and told us that we need also to undergo psychotherapy for us to be ready when he will come home. The doctor told us that it should be a new environment, new dealings with him for him not to resort to drinking anymore.

This coming June, we are expecting a new and reformed EXUPERIO. The cheerful father we had. The easy to get along with kind of person! We are all expecting that kind of man with GOD’s grace and mercy.