About Social Nature of Human and the Meaning of Relationships

I often hear the phrase that a person is a social being and cannot exist alone. You know, this phrase "a person needs a person" sounds so simple and at the same time so insidious. Because in reality — who exactly is needed, what kind of person is needed, and is one always really needed? It’s like a lottery: you can hit the jackpot, or you can draw a ticket that you’ll want to return for the rest of your life.

It seems to me that everything revolves around the word "freedom". And not in the sense of "do whatever you want" , but whether you can remain yourself next to another person. Because you can have a partner and at the same time feel as if you’re in a cage: any desire, any idea, or attemptr to change something is met with hostility. That’s not freedom. That’s more like a burden, when you’re no longer formally alone, but you feel even lonelier than you were before.

Here’s the key point: to be "not alone" and at the same time "free." That’s possible only when two people look in the same direction, even if they’re walking different roads. When your dreams don’t seem stupid to your partner, but instead — evoke support.That’s when being next to someone is not just good, but it’s also easy to breathe. Because they don’t block your path, and sometimes even push you forward when you’re tired.

There are couples where each lives their own life, but both enjoy what the other does. They can sit in the same room, each busy with their own thing — and nobody’s bored, nobody pulls the blanket of attention onto themselves. That, to me, is an example of healthy freedom in relationships.

And then there’s the other side: loneliness. And here too there are two scenarios. One — when you’re by yourself, but it’s not a tragedy, rather a way to feel like the master of your space. If you want — you sit in silence, if you want — you blast music, if you want — you go on a trip, and nobody asks "why?". That’s a joy, and many underestimate it.

The second scenario — when loneliness drains your strength. When it seems that without another person you’re not needed by anyone. That’s already a painful story, and here people often throw themselves into any relationship just so they won’t be alone. And there… well, you know yourself how that usually turns out.

I’ve seen quite a few people who felt bad in a relationship, and after divorce felt even worse. Because it’s as if they escaped one cage, but ended up in another — an internal one. Now the cage is in their head, because loneliness frightens them more than any quarrels with a partner. And that’s really a paradox: we want freedom,but when it comes, we don’t know what to do withj it.

Coming back to your thought: a person needs the "right" person. That’s the key. Because "any" person can only make life heavier. And the "right" one isn’t some perfect picture from a TV series, but the one with whom you can be yourself. The one who doesn’t make you give up yourself for the sake of keeping the relationship.

And also "right" doesn’t mean "convenient." Because people often confuse that. They think that if a partner agrees to everything and doesn’t argue, then that’s happiness. But that’s just a soap bubble. The real joy is when there’s dialogue, when you can argue but respect remains. I lived with a "convenient" girl for three years. She agreed with me in everything and had no point of view of her own. And let me tell you — that sucks, it’s worse than being alone — to live with a person without a personality.

Sometimes it’s enough not even to have a "partner," but just good company. When friends are around, with whom you can laugh, go somewhere spontaneously, or simply talk about life — that already gives you the feeling that you’re not alone. Because loneliness is not always about the physical absence of people around, but about the absence of those with whom you feel truly good.

I am convinced that it’s more important to have a few "your own" people than a hundred acquaintances with whom there’s nothing to talk about. Because quantity doesn’t heal the feeling of emptiness. But the quality of communication — does.

You can "miss" with a person. That happens a lot. And it’s not always about someone being bad or toxic. Sometimesd it’s just two worlds that don’t intersect.At first it seems like a trifle, but over time trifles turn into a chasm. I think honesty with yourself and with your partnert helps here.If you see that you’re drifting in different directions, you shouldn’t pretend everything’s fine, but say it directly . Otherwise you end up with years of wasted time and the feeling that you’ve been robbed of life.

It all comes down not to whether you’re alone or with someone, but to whether you’re free inside. Because you can be alone and feel happy, or you can live with someone and be forever unhappy. Freedom isn’t a status in your passport and not even a relationship format, it’s a state of soul.

And if you’re lucky enough to meet that very "right" person, then they won’t take away your freedom, but share theirs. That’s probably the best scenario. The main thing is probably not to run from yourself just for company. Because if it’s bad to be with yourself, then there will be no happiness in a couple either. But if there’s harmony inside, then any company that brings joy will be the "right" one.

• Image: AI, sora.chatgpt.com