I don't think it's crazy. Suicide is a very complex issue. I lost my mother to suicide. I have spent many hours thinking about her death and putting it in the right place. My mother was far from crazy. She was self-destructive, and that is a whole different topic. Crazy means you're never in your right mind once you get there, crazy is out of control. Mental illness takes many shapes and some people go in and out of their mental disabilities. Some recover completely and some never do. The desire to live must outweigh the desire to escape. Our circumstances are never as bad as they appear when we are in a depressive state. I hope to never reach the point of crazy enough not to know who I am.