I am technically Adhd but I kiss (deep awkward tongue kiss like my first attempt at 12) the spectrum in more then enough areas for me to have actually figured out the connection between the two about 5 years before they were they were acknowledged (Im 38). Depression is a constant companion, and I am highly certain at this point in my life that most, if not all, is situational and a by product of my failings to accept or be able to follow all of socities arbitry rules. I am eternal, true things make sense, and I know them without effort. But whims and random lines in the sand have to be memorized and I cant seem to make my brain waste the space necessary to keep them on hand for reguritation on inspection. Some of my favorite depression books are Through the Looking Glass for its cleverness, and Gatsby and Heart of Darkness for their perfect language and single-day-read-through-ability . My bf and whole extended family are very strong ADDers with some Autistic children, and you sound like you're more than familar with the chaos we are as a gaggle ❤ Ive spent easily a third of my life in a state of depression, and been really active in trying all possible areas of 'treatments'- neuro feedback, behavioral training, food/herbs, and pharma meds being my least used because they have only helped me very briefly or not at all- and yeah Im with you begging for the answer ✌
Super recognisable answer I could have written at 38! Clearly your high intelligence is something to love and hate. It can really hang you up the most! It's a war, kiddo. One I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Some simply don't make it out in one piece. I write this here so audaciously because you're on track to cracking what it takes. The three book choices are the clues. I can see it, feel it, testify to it - but yeah as for telling you how... I guess as Brad sings: it's a question of time. Peace.