Super recognisable answer I could have written at 38! Clearly your high intelligence is something to love and hate. It can really hang you up the most! It's a war, kiddo. One I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Some simply don't make it out in one piece. I write this here so audaciously because you're on track to cracking what it takes. The three book choices are the clues. I can see it, feel it, testify to it - but yeah as for telling you how... I guess as Brad sings: it's a question of time. Peace.