Yeah gabapentin can be awful. I remember it to be a quite depressing feeling like an extended three beer buzz without the hops. It did help with neuropathy where nothing else would. Right now as i write this i am just in awful sensations with lower spine out to my left, it has me gasping for air. Im a mess. However i remember how bad it was. I could not sleep in the same bed with my wife at the time due to writhing in nerve misfirings, spasms, sensations....talk about satanic? I had serious body ownership issues and still do. I know this body is but a vessal to get us to those far shores but when it gets bad enough i find myself praying to the lord to take my life. You are right. Surely there is a reason and rhyme to This. I do believe it is not necessarily extraterrestrial at all. They have found borrelia in something like billion year old sample. I hypothosize thouhg that it works in dimensions beyond our comprehension. I believe it knows what i am thinking. I believe it may have intelligence far beyond our ability to grasp.