The Life of Death

An Intimate Dance with Death
Death has been visiting me lately. Not with anyone directly, not in any tangible way (though it's ironic to talk about death and tangibility, isn't it?). But death has surrounded me and reminded me of its presence in ways I didn't expect. It's been with me these last few days, maybe a couple of weeks, helping me remember the preciousness of this physical experience and how quickly it moves. How quickly death can move too.

In the blink of an eye, it can swoop in the most unexpected ways and shift a soul onto its next version of this experience of being. And it owes us no explanation, no warning, because it's simply up to us to live life how we want to. For those who have the privilege and ability to access what our purpose is, we have an even greater responsibility. Duty, ability, calling, pressure, confusion. We have the ability to see and know that this life is an incredible opportunity to create in really unique, beautiful ways.

As I'm remembering more and more of what I am and what I want to create in this precious moment that I have of this life, in this body that has... whew... stood up to the test of time and the abuse I've given it, I'm struck by something profound. This blip of time that I have in this body, on this physical plane of Earth, with such a unique composition of tools and beings and energy and elements that can be formed and fashioned in so many ways. What an incredible experience.

The Whisper That Was Always There
While I have the freedom to know that I can create anything, I have a very unique opportunity in knowing what my desire is, what my purpose is, and what I want to create specifically. And while it has taken me a very long time to be able to focus on this or to realize it (because there's always been that whisper of what I want to do, what I want to create, and it has been right there all along), there's been a lot of noise and distraction. A lot of life that I was meant to experience before arriving to this now. To learn tools, lessons, myself. To become more aware so that I can focus and harness and use my energy and tools in an intentional way. For right now. For the specific things that I want to do and create.

Sitting with Death
It has been in these days of sitting with death, reminiscing on people, experiences, spaces and time in my life that have died, that have shifted into new forms, spaces, experiences, events and angles, and new representations of life. Appreciating what they once were, and also accepting that they have now transformed into something else. My life has done the same thing, and life will continue to do that. Continue to morph and change instantly and over time, on its own and by my doing.

I can decide what I do with this energy of time, with this energy of being this. I can mold in my way what I feel and what I see and what I want to create during my time, the rest of the time that I have. And release those things into the world to be free on their own, to create their own experience, to have their own relationships with people. Because that's what happens when we create.

The Fifth House Energy
I know people hate astrology this is an example. In astrology, energy is explained through planets, houses, and aspects and degrees. There are some other things too (I'm just giving a general overview to make a point or illustrate something). The houses in astrology represent different areas of life. Different spaces of life where we experience specific things.

There's an area of life that is the creative area of life, known as the Fifth House, the Leo house that the sun rules, the solar plexus. It's the creative house that is also the house of children, creative projects, creative ideas, entrepreneurship, sex, and relationships. For me, all of those being in the same house is the energy of excitement, of sharing, of creating, of making something that we want to share, of expressing ourselves and creating something new from energy.

When we realize our power that we can create, that we are creators, that we can mold energy how we desire from our inspiration, from something that we see, something that we are passionate about, and then we use the willpower to create something in our own way. This isn't an energy or a house of replicating or duplicating what's already been done.

It's our individual uniqueness. Using our individual uniqueness and willpower to create something that we see in our own way, something that we shine our sun, our light on from our unique angle, from our unique perspective of the god source being that we are, that we are a part of, that we are representing in our own unique way.

Creating Our Children
When we create a business or we create a child (to me, a business is a child, it's something we've created), just like a child, just like a relationship that we would have with someone, we can have intentions, we can be excited to create it. But we don't get to dictate the life that it has. Once it's created, it goes out into the world and experiences on its own.

I think it's easy sometimes for us as humans to think that we're the only things that are existing in this world, and that life revolves around human beings, when there are many different beings and things and spaces and energies experiencing life in unique ways. And not just here in this physical domain.

An Intimate Relationship with Death
I really appreciate this time that I have spent in such an intimate way with death. I've experienced some moments with death in the past in various different ways. Deeply personal, from a distance, physically, nonphysically. Maybe I'll go into that a little more in another moment that I share.
I do know that there's an intimate relationship that I have with death that is meant to go further in my physical being this. A label of death doula comes to mind a lot, and it's something that I've just known is a part of this life for me. But how it unfolds, I don't know just yet. I tend to experience things and positions and titles and labels in very unique ways. Which I love about myself and about the life that I have. How truly unique it is.

An Invitation to Death
So I want to invite death to stick around as a friend, as an actual relationship that can be cultivated, because I know there's more to learn from it. I'm not saying I need you to mess around and have me find out from firsthand experience or even secondhand or thirdhand. Your presence is enough, but you don't have to keep showing me things. As in, you don't have to remove anyone from my life to help me experience. No time soon, at least, you know. I know you're gonna do your thing, but... yeah.
It's not something that I run from anymore. Or pretend doesn't exist, or that feels super heavy. I can sit in the presence of death. And it actually helps me. It's like a pair of glasses. Supernatural glasses that help me see so clearly.

The Beautiful Exchange
The more that I give to death, the same way I might give to life, there's a beautiful give and take. When I'm able to let things go and not hold on and allow things to die and come to new form, life just keeps unfolding in the most beautiful ways. And I guess that's the relationship. Give and take, an exchange. From a detached place and allowing both of our energies to just be what they are, to do what they need to do.
Death and the frequency of freedom. What an interesting dynamic relationship.