Our Clover

I wanted to take a walk and so I did. I was out to clear my head or so I thought. Breathing in the cool evening breeze tears filled my eyes. Not out of pain, not. It was nostalgia. Cause it all started on a day uncannily similar to this.

I was also out on a walk and so was he. I noticed him crouched down on the grass, searching with all concentration. I hesitated for a while then asked, "Are you looking for something?". He raised head up wearing a puzzled look on his face.

Staring into his coffee-brown eyes I repeated my question and watched his expression go from puzzled to shy. " A four leafed clover. I lost a bet to my niece so I have to find it myself". He replied with a shy smile.

A crackle escaped my lips before I could stop it. He laughed too and I crouched down to join him. It took us 30 minutes to find it. Probably because we spent most it chatting about the most random things. I'd remember the way his eyes lit when I raised the four leafed clover up. He laughed out loud, my giggles joining in to make a harmony. Little did we know that it was the start of something we least expected.

Two years down the line we still pretended to just be friends. We were inseparable but we denied our feelings for each other. What we had was different, we often told others. We had found a sanctuary in each other and we were too scared to let anything ruin it. It was too precious to lose and too fragile to toy with.

Our denial worked for two years and nothing more. It ended the day I realised that he might have to move halfway across the world to work. He had kept it from me, worried about how I'd react.

Immediately I heard about it from a mutual friend I raced all the way to his house,tears streaming down my face. I'm sure I looked like a mess that night with a messy hair, his large t-shirt and shorts.

He opened the door and stepped out but I didn't care. I ranted and cried and poured out the emotions I had kept at bay for 2 years. He held me gently in his arms and waited till I was done before calling my name, his voice cracking.

I looked at his face and saw the tears in his eyes which contrasted the bright smile on his face. "You beat me to it" he said in a hoarse voice. He lead me inside his house only for me to find it decorated in rose petals, balloons and candles. He laughed when he saw the baffled expression as he handed me a bouquet of hydrangeas.

Tears well in my eyes as I recognised the flowers. He had grown them himself, often whistling to the tune of Wellerman. I hadn't known that this was the reason he grew them. I wiped my eyes and smiled back at him. That was the only confirmation he needed and he kissed me. We never really needed words to understand each other, we just did.

6 years later, I'm back to where we met. But this time, it's him and our twin daughters that are looking for a four-leaf clover instead. He looks up at me and smiles, his brown eyes sparkling in the sunlight. I grin and ask "Are you looking for something"?. He laughs out loud and remarks " I found it a long time ago". My heart swells cause we both knew he's not talking about the clovers. "So much for denial in the first place" I think to myself as I join my family in their search.

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