RE: Survivors: The System Is Terrifically Terrible But It Isn't Over For You -- A Message Echoed Out Loud
It is hard to compute which is more destructive to a child
- being raised in foster care
- being raised by a single mother.
In foster care, at least you KNOW you have been abandoned. (or kidnapped) Then you can deal with the abandonment trauma and become a healthy adult.
Being raised by a single mother in today's world means you never realize that you are suffering from abandonment issues. Of course you never had a father to instill all the masculine traits that makes a person ready to face the world. (so people need safe spaces)
Unfortunately we live in a world that thinks that a stranger can raise a child better than the parent. Well, some strangers are so good, and some parents are so bad, that this can be true, but it is usually not. No one cares for a child as much as the parents do. No one else has that bond.
So, foster care is most cruelly measured in, were they alive when the reached 18? Well, 90% success rate, could be better, but could be worse.
But i don't think we are looking at 90%.
No one is reporting the actual numbers.
The actual numbers are/would be more alarming. If the actual numbers of all the ills that happen in the System was released, it would be equated to a Graveyard of body, soul and passion of these children! They always loss a lot no matter how "Good" they might turn out to be.
You are absolutely right!, On an equal ground, No one can ever love a child than their parents. But they think Uncle Sam can. 😞😞.
Thank you for the contribution@builderofcastles
It depends on the mother.
Posted using Partiko Android
All of these things depend on the specific person.
There are people who go through the worst of things and come out not only ok, but better.
But, when you are speaking of statistics,
the largest predictor of becoming a criminal, going to jail, dropping out of school, committing suicide and many other things is that the child was raised by a single mother.
Also there are many children who should be in foster care.
The largest section of these are those being raised by a narcissist.
However, a narcissist is the perfect person to put on a good front for the CPS, also they know to lawyer up quick because they know what they have been doing.
It needed mention because otherwise you made it sound that a single mother isn't capable of raising a child to be self dependent and earning a respect as a parent of filial piety while the child surpasses their peers in every single respect from emotional to social to intellectual intelligence, and that by default being raised by a single mother means that they aren't capable of facing the world.
Posted using Partiko Android
I just read your comment again and it dawned on me that I didn't look at the single mother aspect @builderofcastles, it would be a partial and illogical view to assume single parents couldn't do a good job.
I am not throwing away the fact that parenting is best done when "The Two" parents are involved, but I must say I have seen pretty great single mothers do a perfect job. Making a mountain out of any of these two instances is to joggle without directions.
Is the other parent alive?...if yes, it be great if the child connects to both sides. If No, you have no choice but to raise your child no way lesser than he would have been raised. You Just have to be the child's PARENT(two mixed in one) not just "mum" or "dad".