Wordsmiths Fiction Week 1: The Disappeared Leader

in #fiction-s24wk14 months ago (edited)

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I welcome you all to this wordsmith fiction week 1. I would be focusing my story on the prompt provided by our teachers , I'm sure you are anxious of knowing what happened to The Disappeared Leader.

The cargo carrying 10 people got sucked and the leader disappeared where did he go?

Seems we are not complete, the second in command was curious he started searching and he discovered that their leader was no where , where did he go, how can our leader disappear without our knowledge? What do we do now? the remaining members were not happy because the loves their leader and he has sacrificed a lot for them they decided to search for their leader, one thing was certain they believed so much in their leader because he was a well-trained sailor, in fact their thought was not a bad one because they trust his swimming tactics .

on a second thought they decided to go search for him , they divided themselves into two some were waiting in case the leader will appear back to them while some went in search of their leader by the other seashore, on their loudest voice they shouted leader!!!!!! Some said shouting wouldn't solve anything. They continued until it was night.

ThankGod it's morning, I didn't even know when I slept off they all chorused , the good thing is we must not slumber we must make sure that our leader is found. They continued vooom!!!!!

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They saw speedboat with rescue team coming towards them , they were happy because they believed it must be their lost leader as they came close indeed it was their leader . What a joyful moment, Leader!!! With a warm huge they embraced him he asked of others they assured him that everything is fine.

They asked the leader what happened, he was short of words because he want to make sure he has seen every team member before he could tell them what happened.

They all entered the speedboat and sailed to where other members were, the jubilation was out of this world after everything being equal they all made it alive.

The leader told them how he disappeared when the cargo got sucked, as the leader he can't risk his life saving just few while others will get drown so he quickly swam into getting help as quick as possible. That was how their leader escaped without their knowledge and they thought he died or something happened to him. At the time he was away he was looking for urgent rescue team immediately he saw one they started coming but on their way again something treble happened they have to go back and carried other engineers that will be on board with them three engineers volunteered after hearing the plea of the leader , the journey started again that was how they meet each other.

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They got on board to go back to base , the leader shouted My heart!!! I can't breathe well. Before they could know it their leader stopped breathing. They managed to land and took him to hospital to confirm but it was late their leader has died of heart-attack which the doctor confirmed.

What a bad experience after all the suffering . They mourned him for the whole day and buried him later at night. That is the end

I'm inviting @max-pro @wakeupkitty @wilmer1988

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Hello @okere-blessing, thank you so much for taking part in Week of the Steemit Challenge - Season 24! We truly appreciate the time and creativity you put into your entry. Your assessment, including feedback and scores based on our evaluation criteria, is provided below.

CriteriaMarks
Story Setting & Word-Building You started on a promising note and I was expecting a nice built up but the moment I read, "so he quickly swam into getting help as quick as possible." You know the prompt says the captain was missing with a boat.2/3
Theme & Message The theme was rather weak since there was not much activity on t, as expected in the prompt.he part of crew and they did not talk to each other or planned accordingly1.25/2
Formatting & Presentation I guess an extra image was not required (permitted 2). Planning and conversation between the crew was missing1.25/2
Originality & Uniqueness I am sure you could have done better than this with a little attention on contest prompt2/3
Total6.5/10

Feedback
Looking forward to your next story in the coming week, all the best!

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Moderated by: @dove11

Thanks for the review, correction taken.