Wordsmiths Fiction Week 4: Season 24 – The Family Secret"
Her father had been a secretive man while he was alive, but now he was shrouded in mystery.
Who was Jeremy Cates????
Like a flash of something old, misty and foreign, the whispers of nights long gone when her father was away from the house, while uncle Kazan came by more often than sleep.
Did her father take on a side lover at that time???
Thoughts ran like a treadmill. Of course her brother would know of this as it was a requirement for the inheritance, but seeing how his and their father's relationship was, it would be safer to keep the gory details of how Jeremy came to be...or so she thought!!
But first, uncle Kazan, should know something, right?. He was dad's only surviving brother and they had been close. Finding her way to uncle Kaz was no small feat, as he lived in the heart of the plateau, where thick bushes and mangrove swamps existed for a living. She hadn't been down here in years, but still she had to come.
Her discussion with uncle Kaz left no clues, rather it gave her more questions. He had said that sometimes, in the journey for discovery, one discovers way more than expected!. His unseeming behaviour had left goosebumps all over her body as he wasn't one to offer money easily.
Drudging up her strength, she headed for the address. It was some minutes past 4pm and she was tired already. Best get this done with. What could it hurt to arrive at Jeremy's front door and announce herself his long lost sister with a brother in tow. They'd split the inheritance and all would be on their way.
Finding the place was easy, but what she didn't expect was that it was an abandoned warehouse.
Who lived in an abandoned warehouse?, much less this lost brother. Her father was well to do by all standards. The first thing that hit her was the stench of oldness. This place hadn't been used for years evidence by the smell and country of cobwebs that had built over here. An eerie feeling gripped her - Was she doing the right thing coming down here alone?. Who was he??
Wait, was that a sound she heard just now??. Who was out in this kind of place by this time?. Then she heard it again, loud pops that threw her down to the ground with a force that knocked breathe out of her lungs, splint flying everywhere. What was going on??
The last thing she remembered was a male figure running to her and swooping her up before everything went blank.
A bit foggy, yet once she opened her eyes, she became very alert, where am I???
A male figure was sitting close to her bed backing her. She didn't recognise him but she could tell there was another man here. What was uncle Kaz doing here?, was she in the plateau??
Uncle Kaz walked up to her gently, touching her face. She could see the pain in his eyes before he spoke.
Uncle Kaz: Little one, why did you go there alone??. You could have died back there.
What is going on, and who is this person with you?.
Uncle Kaz: His name is Jeremy Cates. I got an anonymous call two days ago, and the caller sounded hysterical. He said that you were walking into a trap, I tried calling you but couldn't lay hold of you and your brother didn't know where you were, so I traced you to this address.
Do you remember a time your father wasn't home and I always came visiting??
I didn't like the sound of uncle Kaz voice now.
Some years ago, your father helped in uncovering a massive illegal drug shipment, but the names of those involved got leaked. Whole Families were killed, it was a very dark time.
Your father sadly was one of those who lost his life in that incident. Before he died, he entrusted you and your brother into the hands of his best friend, who you have been living with ever since.
Your dad's best friend had a son named Jeremy who was schooling overseas at the time. We felt he'd be safe,but one day, Jeremy went missing. All attempts to find him proved abortive.
You and your brother were too young to know what was happening and we decided it was best not to tell you.
Years later when the case was sorted out, your father searched everywhere for Jeremy but couldn't find him, I thought he had given up on the case only to receive a message some weeks ago to come see him. A lead had come up and he had followed it till the end, but he suddenly developed a stroke and could only write down the address hoping you and your brother would go look for him. Turns out he had been looking for his son all these years while still being a good father to you and your brother.
I was dumbfounded. Why didn't dad tell us this all these years? Was he afraid we would leave if we knew he wasn't our biological father???
Was that why he hadn't supported her and her brother's desire to go into law enforcement ??
Oh what pain he had to endure raising another man's children while his was missing!!
As I stared at Jeremy who still hadn't turned his face towards me, I could feel the heat of an emotion I couldn't quite name.
Would Jeremy hate us for receiving years of love that rightfully should have been his??? Where had he been all these years, what had happened to him and most importantly, why the sudden appearance.
@jovita30 @pandoradiary @hyacinthfavour join in.
Hello @ngozi996, thank you so much for taking part in Week of the Steemit Challenge - Season 24! We truly appreciate the time and creativity you put into your entry. Your assessment, including feedback and scores based on our evaluation criteria, is provided below.
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You can do better than this if you read the prompt carefully. My best regards!
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I want to believe you read this part sir/ma.
You asked us to take the story where our minds would go and I did just that. I also wrote that while she went in search of Jeremy at the warehouse, Jeremy came looking for her her. If that isn't a plot twist then, I don't know what is. The legitimate heir, suddenly realising they're not. Family secrets don't get deeper than that.
Please I'd ask that you review my write-up again and the assigned score @dove11 Thank you.
I read this part and this was the reason I made that remark. There was no address in the prompt so how did the protagonist headed to that address. PO BOX is a Post Office Box allotted to someone on rental basis who wish to receive his mail in post office for his personal reasons and his address is kept secret.
I hope you got your answer, thank you!
CC @waqarahmadshah