STEEMIT CHALLENGE S26-W6: TWO TIMING

in #fiction-s26wk614 hours ago (edited)

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John took a walk to the busy station, holding the smart card Tina gave him. He was carried away by the thought of Tina's simile. While standing on the bus station with the thought of Tina's simile, the bus drove away.

Tina was an easy person to talk to. John and Tina chatted about things like books, work and the things they saw while moving on in the train. They chatted for about three hours. John forgot about his wife, he forget to call his wife Priya before Tina sat down. He felt the conversation he had with Tina interesting.

The bus ride from Sydney had been surprising.
He took the card and look at it. The card was for an art gallery called "The Obelisk". He looked at it for about a minute and turn back of the card. There was a note at the back of the card Tina wrote saying :
Come tonight by 7PM if you can.

His hearts begins to beats fast. Was this a friendly invite? Or did it mean something more? John asked himself. Part of him really wanted to go.

John went to his hotel room where he logged, but couldn't stop thinking about the small he saw at the back of the small card. He was thought about his wife, her wife's trust and kind voice towards him.

His conscience pinched him. But the temptation was too strong for him to rest. He also thought of Tina's joke and laughter anytime he chatted with Tina

When it was 6:40 in the evening, he was restless. He stood across the street from the gallery so bright and fancy. People were inside chatting and smiling.

Alot of thought kept flashing at him. He wondered what will might happen after. His feet started moving but he stopped.

At this moment was his chance for something exciting no one would ever know. Another clear thought came; This thing you are about to do is wrong, it will hurt Priya if she knows he went to Tina. His chance of excitement will costs him his peace.

After some while, he made his decision by going back, he didn't feel like a hero, he felt a little bit sad about the fun he wanted to have he was missing. Inside of him, he was a rest and calm because he has done the right thing.

Back in the hotel room, he took the card, he didn't tear it but instead he kept it as a reminder of the great choice he made.

He picked his phone and called his wife. He listened how his wife talked about her day, and the little problems. Her wife's voice was so real as if she was there with him.

The next morning, while he was on his way to his meeting, he stopped by a public trash bin and took out the card he picked up for the hotel room and dropped it in. He walked away without turning back. He felt free and everything was over.

I invite @pandora2010, @bossj23 and @xkool24 to participate in the contest

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Steemit Challenge Season 26 Week-6: Two-timing

Dear @sampson, below is the detailed assessment of your submission.

CriteriaMarksRemarks
Story start to finish4.2/5Okay
Originality & Uniqueness2.8/3Okay
Presentation0.8/1Okay
My observation0.8/1Okay
Total8.6/10

Feedback

  • To be frank you tried to keep up with the prompt but missed out on more than one occasions. For instance you could not decide whether they were in a buss or a train.

  • If you read your story once again you would see where you missed and what needs to be corrected. All the best for your future ventures.

Moderated By @dove11

Thank you for the review