Two-timing

John settled into his seat on the bus from Sydney to Canberra. The seat next to him was still empty. He let his shoulders sink back into the cushion and pulled out his phone.

It was his wife.

“Did you land safely?” she asked.

“Yes, all good. Just getting comfortable on the bus now,” he said. They exchanged a few words, nothing dramatic, just the usual. He hung up with a smile that stayed for a moment longer than the call.

When he looked up, the seat wasn’t empty anymore. A young woman had slipped in beside him. She was in her mid-twenties, beautiful in a way that didn’t need effort. She caught him glancing and smiled as if she had caught him red-handed.

“Long ride, isn’t it?” she said.

“Yeah,” he replied, his own smile appearing almost without a warning.

The bus pulled away, and so did their words. What began with a remark about the weather turned into hours of talking. She told him her name was Tina. They spoke about cities they had visited, books they had loved, and somehow the conversation drifted into life itself. John hadn’t expected it, but he found himself laughing, even listening in a way he hadn’t in months. The journey that usually felt dragging passed as if time had been trimmed short.

By the time they reached Canberra, he felt a restlessness he couldn’t explain. Passengers were pulling bags from the racks, stretching their stiff limbs. Tina turned to him with that easy smile, offered her hand for a goodbye. When he shook it, he felt something slip between his fingers.

A card.

And then that smile again, the one that carried a question without asking!

For a moment John froze. The rectangle in his palm weighed more than paper ever should. People often said cheating was a mistake, but standing there with that card he knew it wasn’t. A mistake is when you trip on the pavement, spill your coffee, say the wrong word in haste. Cheating doesn’t arrive like that. It’s slower, deliberate, a choice you make before you even admit you’ve made it. It begins small: a smile that lasts too long, a text message in later half of the night, an emoji carrying more meaning than words...

He thought of his wife’s voice, the way she still asked about his safety like it was the first time he traveled alone. He thought of her trust, simple and unguarded, the kind of trust you don’t notice until it trembles. And then there was Tina, youthful and curious, her eyes like small fires — a spark that had tugged at him for three straight hours.

His phone buzzed. He looked down.

“Strange coincidence… my cousin Tina said she was on the same bus to Canberra. Did you meet her?”

His breath stalled in his chest. Tina stood a few steps in front, waiting for her bag. She looked over her shoulder and smiled, sharper now, as though she already knew the weight she’d slipped into his hand.

John looked at her over the edge of his hand when he closed it into a fist; the card seemed to burn, its corners cutting into his palm. His wife’s message lit the screen again. He crumbled the paper; the rip was oddly loud, and Tina’s smile faltered. Silently he put the scraps into his pocket.

Outside, the cool Canberra air felt like release. He pulled out his phone again and texted his wife. “Yes. I met her.”

Bus fumes trailed behind him as his heart stayed steady despite the distance.


sr


I played a little with this prompt by @dove11. You can try too :)

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Steemit Challenge Season 26 Week-6: Two-timing

Dear @soulfuldreamer, below is the detailed assessment of your submission.

CriteriaMarksRemarks
Story start to finish4.85/5Close
Originality & Uniqueness3/3Good
Presentation1/1Good
My observation0.9/1Fair enough
Total9.75/10

Feedback

  • Yes, human psychology is all about kicks of lust in situations like these. John was almost there, and Tina could have gone further too, but maybe she knew John was married to her cousin. Probably we the Asians don't accept it openly but we aren't different from our western counterparts.

  • Two-timing is an intense feeling of desire and anticipation leading to an uncertain situation. John was almost on the verge. You painted his mind beautifully. A little more conversation between the two and you could be right on top.

Moderated By @dove11


Hi there, your comment is interesting to read, keep up your engagement, you are awesome
curated by heriadi

Thank you!

That’s a fair assessment… As for the dialogues between Tina and John—yes, there could have been more, and I could always add them. But some things were spoken through their eyes, and what John understood needed no words.

but maybe she knew John was married to her cousin.

Nopes! She was completely oblivious.

Tina stood a few steps in front, waiting for her bag. She looked over her shoulder and smiled, sharper now, as though she already knew the weight she’d slipped into his hand.

her eyes like small fires — a spark that had tugged at him for three straight hours.

Still, I don’t dispute your view, you must have had a particular image in mind.
Thanks a lot:)

I went through both versions of your comment! Wait until tomorrow, the same time when I will give you an "answer" to this "5050" comment because I do not want to give hints to would be contestants at this stage.

Yes, you also played around with your previous post, which didn't approach the topic of marriage/fidelity/cheating in such a fictional way. Now John is the one who has to decide whether or not... The question is: did he make his decision for the right reason?

The question is: did he make his decision for the right reason?

No one can ever be sure about that. Even, I'm not sure :)

you also played around with your previous post, which didn't approach the topic of marriage/fidelity/cheating in such a fictional way.

Erm, not really. I actually had some other relationships in mind. After reading your reply, I went back to my post and reread it... and to my surprise, it does fit the topic. That made me smile. Maybe it’s just a generic theme, but as I said earlier, relationships are so layered.

And now that you’ve pointed it out, I imagined the scenario again—this time replacing the fictional John with the real John. I’d say that perhaps such a situation has never actually presented itself in real life, and maybe that’s a blessing. But if it ever does arise, I can’t say with a hundred percent certainty how things would unfold. Still, I have trust that this is not something that would crumble my paradise...

Edit: you are talking about this post, right?

Yes, of course - that one and any comments out of last week. As you say: it's a generic theme ;-)) The real John nd the fictional John could be the same person - in parallele universes... Both are capable of anything.

Both are capable of anything.

Totally!!!


Hi there, your comment is interesting to read, keep up your engagement, you are awesome
curated by heriadi

Impresionante. Tu prosa es muy buena y agradable de leer.

Las casualidades existen amigo y a veces son tan inesperadas como conocer a alguien que te agrade y llame tu atención y al final resulte ser conocido o hasta incluso familiar de alguien importante. Pero en lo que respecta a tu forma de narrar y estilo de escritura, considero que eres sumamente bueno; alguien experto diría yo.

Muchas gracias por tus palabras tan generosas.
Creo que las casualidades siempre tienen su propia magia, nos sorprenden y nos hacen sonreír. Me alegra mucho que mi forma de escribir te haya resultado agradable; para mí, es un placer compartir lo que siento y pienso en palabras.

You have been very generous with your praise!

Por poco enfrenta serios problemas con su esposa. Pero, se mantuvo fiel.

Yeah, totally 😋


Hello there, you have posted a great quality post and we are happy to support you, stay up with good quality publications
Curated by heriadi