Wordsmiths Fiction Week 4: Season 24 – The Family Secret

in #fiction-s24wk43 months ago (edited)

Wayne Cates had been married to Hanna for five years, and they had two children (Jacob and Julie)

They had built up a reputable cafe from a small kiosk to a barista training institute, and this is where Wayne met Lucy.

Lucy was a standout trainee. Wayne was intrigued, initially by her passion and shared love for coffee.

Conversations between Wayne and Lucy began, starting with coffee and moving on to personal matters. They were swept away in their feelings, lulled into doing something out of line.

After the incident Wayne felt guilty towards his family, Lucy left, resigned from training, and disappeared without a trace.

Two years later, a text message arrived on Wayne's cell phone saying “Sorry, I have to tell you... This is your son” accompanied by a photo of a one year old boy (Jeremy), with familiar eyes and dimples.

Wayne's world came crashing down.

He didn't want to lose his family. But more than that, he didn't want to live a lie. He sat in the living room, took Hanna's trembling hand and told her everything. No defenses, no excuses. Just confession and tears.

Hanna was crying, angry, devastated, but she didn't leave Wayne.



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Julie, Jeremy and Jacob in the warmth of a morning breakfast together at some point in time


Jeremy has been residing in the Sun of Hope Orphanage since age five, who is now seventeen years old. Jeremy, amongst other kids within the orphanage, was a shy kid but gentle and incredibly smart.

On a bright morning, a white car that looked costly pulled up before the orphanage gate. Inside the car, a man who looked very well maintained got out, holding a leather briefcase. He introduced himself as Adrian, a lawyer.

"Jeremy, you're coming with me. There's something very important you need to know," he said.

Jeremy, being dazed, rode with the man on the orders of the head of the orphanage. On the way, Mr. Adrian told him that one Wayne Cates had passed away, a successful businessman and Jeremy's biological father.

"My biological father?" Jeremy was shocked. He had no knowledge about his family.

Mr. Adrian smiled and just nodded. "And you are not his sole child. Soon, you'll be meeting your two brothers."

The car left him in front of a villa at the outskirts of the city, and two individuals welcomed Jeremy in the living room. Julie and Jacob, her brother.

Julie cut a disbelieving glance towards Jeremy. "So. you're my brother?" Julie told him sternly. Jacob was more pleasant. He grinned widely at Jeremy. "Wow, I have a brother. That's wonderful."

Mr. Adrian then opened the briefcase and drew out some documents. "Mr. Wayne has left a will, declaring that his property must be divided equally among his three children, but with one stipulation: you all must live together for three months in this villa and run his small business as a team."

Jeremy, Julie, and Jacob looked at each other. Nobody expected that their cohabitation would be so different that day.

It was not simple living together. In the first few weeks, Julie was alone, Jeremy felt uneasy, and Jacob made a deliberate effort to play the role of the mediator.

They started running a small business venture, a book cafe in the downtown area from which their dad had been emptying. Initially, neither of them knew how to manage business, but over time each of them learned to get utilized.

Jeremy, who was finance and logistics savvy. Julie, who was a good writer and loves to read, takes care of promotions and events such as book reviews. Customer service and keeping things fun is taken care of by the cheerful Jacob.

As the days go by, the atmosphere is varied. Every morning they have breakfast together. Jacob jokes, Jeremy learns to laugh out loud, and Julie begins to open up her heart. They spent one evening in the living room talking about the past.

Jeremy finally told her how he spent his entire childhood in an orphanage without even knowing who his parents were, and Julie admitted that she was angry first because she felt betrayed. "If dad could see us now. maybe he'd be happy," Jacob says smiling.

Their coffee shop took off. Several tourists flocked, attracted by the warmth and unique concept that they presented. They even ventured on adding a little bakery in addition.

Three months had passed, and when the attorney arrived to make sure that they had complied with the conditions of the inheritance, he was shocked at how prosperous they were doing as brothers.

"Real legacy is not wealth or property," Jeremy said then, "but the opportunity to learn from each other, and to grow together."

Julie ended up staying and continuing her education while still managing the café. Jacob became a professional barista and started training underprivileged kids. Jeremy, who already had experience working in orphanages, set up a cooperative program with the orphanage where he grew up.



This story is a continuation of the Story Prompt on Wordsmiths Fiction Week 4: The Family Secret | Steemit Challenge Season 24 and I would like to invite @migue14 @faran-nabeel @iqrabatool34 to also tell a story

Image created by Flux AI on Freepik

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Hellofajrularfst @, thank you so much for taking part in Week of the Steemit Challenge - Season 24! We truly appreciate the time and creativity you put into your entry. Your assessment, including feedback and scores based on our evaluation criteria, is provided below.

CriteriaMarks
Story Setting & World-Building: You have tried well but it's not the story according to the theme1.5/3
Theme & Message: Your story doesn't match the prompt in our contest post1/2
Formatting & Presentation:1/2
Originality & Uniqueness:1.5/3
Total5/10

Feedback
Please read the rules of the contest, thank you!


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Moderated by: @dove11

Hello Sir @dove11

Actually, I don't really care about the score you gave, because I think it's subjective.

But I am confused by the reasons you gave in the assessment, as seen below:

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Show me which rules I need to read again?

And let's look together at the beginning of the story prompt:

Who is Jeremy? Why had he been kept secret for so long? Does he even know he is part of this inheritance?

So you think those questions are not answered in the story I made? That's a shame!

Maybe I also need to hear a response from @waqarahmadshah

I wasn't the one who moderated your post. You will get your answer from @dove11.

I just wanted to see what you thought as part of the challenge organizing team. I think as a team member you should have the same operational standards, or at least have a discussion together. Are you guys doing that?

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I am here to help you @fajrularifst, I will answer your query on Sunday evening so not to give out the clues. Have a nice time.

Does that mean you can't answer what I'm asking? You should be able to explain it easily. This really seems unprofessional.

I said I will answer you on Sunday!

kind of sad that after #wewrite you still dont'use the hashtag properly. How come?
Pity you left without a word.

No, it's about a struggle in my heart that I can't express. I want so much to be present with you, but now I'm embarrassed. At this moment, I also feel reluctant to my brother @aneukpineung78, my best regards to you both.

Give me guidance, again... and again...

Thank you very much for inviting me Inshallah I will participate soon. Good luck for the contest.
🤞💝

Thank you my friend!

Welcome Dear Friend 🤗.

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