Steemit Challenge s26wk2- Mysterious Roommate

in #fiction-s26wk22 months ago

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Dressed in a black suit and white shirt with a black tie to match, Timothy felt comfortable that he had surely found a responsible person.

During their discussion.. Ronnie said he wanted to start an export-import business for himself... He wanted to be self-employed.
Timothy thought that was a good idea.

Not until Ronnie started coming home at late hours... And one time, when he was doing the laundry, which he usually did for them both, he thought he saw blood on Ronnie's white shirt.
Doubts slowly began creeping in until one night...

After a long day, Timothy came home from work very late...He didn't expect Ronnie to be back because he always came home later than that.
But he heard clinking noises and he quietly pushed open the doors and walked stealthily... He met the most terrifying sights ever..

Ronnie is beside the bed with a bag of tools... He was cleaning off blood from a pocket knife, and he put a gun, drills, little screws and some other instruments inside his bag..

Timothy was terrified... Especially the gun, he didn't ever remember export-import businesses needing such tools.
"Ronnie.. are these yours?" He asked, which seemed to startle Ronnie a little, but only for a brief moment.

Ronnie looked up and smirked. "Timothy, you're home late.... I made dinner" He said
Timothy was confused

"These tools... The Gun, what sort of Import or export business uses these?" Timothy couldn't help asking... He trusted Ronnie and wanted him to tell him it was all a joke.

"Well, you see.. Most times, the business people we deal with can make the work a little bit messy Ronnie replied..

His slow and steady reply terrified Timothy the more.
"It's just imports and exports, how can it get messy?" Timothy asked
"My dear friend... Some somethings are left unsaid to ensure safety... Why don't you go freshen up?" Ronnie said.

Shivers ran down Timothy's spine as he heard that he quietly slipped away... Ronnie was lying to him... He had a little knowledge of the business and was sure they never used such tools at all...
It's usually just a little competition between certain export-import organizations..
Could it be that he just made a very wrong decision... Who is Ronnie?

Timothy went to bed Terrified..

Ronnie was hardly seen from that day onwards.... Leaving very early in the morning and returning after Timothy had gone to bed... It went on for a few weeks.. Usually, when he leaves early, he still makes meals, but because of the doubts in Timothy's mind he didn't eat them.

Timothy was fed up and decided to ask Ronnie who he was... He made sure he stayed up late till about 12:55 am, past midnight, when Ronnie came in. He was looking haggard... His white shirt had little cuts and tears... He was about to go in when he heard Timothy's voice.

"Tell me, Ronnie... Who are you?, A thief... An armed robber or a spy?" Timothy asked...
Ronnie stopped in his tracks
"You're not asleep yet..." Ronnie replied and turned to face him... He had bruises on his face.

"What's going on with you?" Timothy asked
Ronnie's eyes softened...
"If I told you... You won't ever see me the same..." Ronnie said, but Timothy was insistent... Then came the big reveal..

Ronnie was a Mafia Boss!!!!
Mafia Bosses are crime lords who fight for power... Through violence... Most times they extort money and take over businesses... But it's never through normal dialogue, it's always through violence...

That was all he said. Timothy was scared... Mafia bosses don't reveal their identities and let the recipient go Scot free... He went and locked his room. He resolved to leave the next day...

By 7 am, when Timothy woke up... He went to the living room... It felt empty... He went and saw that Ronnie was nowhere to be seen... All he saw was an iPad.. He picked it up and saw some weird directions that took him to a hidden note...

"Hey roomie... Good morning.... I made breakfast. Don't worry it is safe... You might wonder my mission.. well, the news should give a hint soon... You're a smart guy, you'll figure it out! Don't bother looking for me... My name is not Ronnie... You can keep the iPad" After he read that... The tab he was holding suddenly went blank and in a few minutes rebooted... Everything he saw now was gone. Well, there goes the last time he'll trust someone again...

He turned on the TV...
"Famous Lincoln group has been overthrown.. Master Lincoln found dead.. "

It dawned on Timothy... All this while... He was fighting another mafia boss to take over his Organization!!!!!
I invite @alli001, @ngoenyi and @presh001 to participate..

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This story kept me glued from the start to the finish. I couldn't stop reading until I got to the end. It therefore teaches that we should be sure of who we are dealing with. We should be sure of who we keep as friends. We should be sure of those close to us. I can only say that Ronnie didn't want to hurt Timothy, else, he could have eliminated him for being that inquisitive. He could have found his way out instead of asking such questions to such an unknown roommate. Hmmmmm, what can I say! We need to be careful

Steemit Challenge S26-w2 : Mysterious Roommate

Dear @fortwis09, here is the detailed assessment of your submission:

CriteriaMarksRemarks
Story start to finish4.9/5Great
Originality & Uniqueness2.9/3Good
Presentation0.9/1Okay
My observation1/1Almost there
Total9.7/10

Feedback

  • You kept me glued to your story right from beginning.

  • Your story had all the elements of fiction and suspense.

Moderated by: @dove11

Thanks a lot for the review

Hey @fortwis09
I like your post and majorly your story ending, good efforts best of luck 🌸. I also participate in this contest u visit my post and see my story u really enjoy.

Best regards
@syedabatool