Steemit Challenge s26wk2 : Mysterious Roommate
Hi friends
Mysterious Roommate |
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Timothy became suspicious after seeing the tools and other items in Ronnie's bag and planned to monitor what he was doing. At the same time, Ronnie was walking outside with his bag, and unbeknownst to him, he was followed by Timothy. As he went, he saw a scene that shocked him because it was an old abandoned building. There was a car shed on the ground floor of the building. When Ronnie lifted the shutter of the car shed, he looked around to see if anyone was watching him. But, unbeknownst to him, Timothy was watching Ronnie.
Upon entering the room, Ronnie closed the shutter, but he did not know that there was a camera installed in his bag. As soon as he opened the bag, the camera in his bag started working, through which, he monitored Timothy Roy. Then what Ronnie did gave another shock. Yes, there was a half-finished coffin there, which he could guess was Ronnie had finished half and came to do the rest of the work. For that, he brought a hammer and nails. He started to finish it with the tools he had. After working there for about half an hour, Ronnie came out, and Timothy also hid so that he would not be noticed.
If he was very interested in knowing what Ronnie was doing, he became a little jealous of Ronnie. He understood that it was better to get the truth from him than to watch him. So he drank with him from time to time. One day, while drinking, he brought up the topic of corpses and murders to talk to him to clarify things.
Then Ronnie said a word. He said, "It's interesting to talk about some things, I also committed a murder" but I can't tell you that now."
Timothy was also very interested to hear Ronnie's story.
Timothy: "Why do you have to tell me? I am just like you, I have killed someone, too."
Ronnie: "No, no, there is no way you would have killed anyone. If you had, you would not be as quiet as you are now.
Timothy: What? "You don't know my history. I have been here for five years. I was in Bangalore before this. I killed one of my friends there because he cheated me. He and I were partners in a business. He was looking after the accounts. I was working. I was working hard to improve the business. But he was only counting the money. In the end, he cheated me by claiming a loss and counting the amount due to me as a loss. So I had to leave the business".
Ronnie: So this is a huge betrayal...
Timothy: "Hmm...but that disappointment..., that betrayal turned me into a murderer. Yes, I decided to kill him. I waited for days for the right time."
Ronnie: Really? Interesting...
Timothy: "One night, when I heard that he was traveling alone in his car. I followed him, parked the car in a deserted area, took him out, and stabbed him once with a knife. He folded his hands and asked me to wipe them. I couldn't control my anger. I stabbed him again and again, and he died".
Ronnie: Then? What did you do to the body?
Timothy: I poured petrol on his body in the same forest and set it on fire. To avoid suspicion, I followed his car and parked it in a busy place on another street. Then I stayed in Bangalore for a year, and no one suspected me. Only after that did I come to Mumbai.
Ronnie: The story is good. It seems that you watch a lot of Bollywood movies.
Timothy: You don't have to believe this, but what I said is true.
Ronnie wondered in his mind if Timothy had really committed murder or if he was lying to us, but he was still listening with great interest to what he had to say.
Ronnie: Okay......, if you are not lying. What proof do you have for the murder?
Timothy: I have no proof that I killed him; that is why I stay safe here. However, I'll give you some clues. I parked his car near Mysore Palace, a tourist destination next to Bangalore. I left the key on the dashboard of the same car. When I killed him, I took the gold chain from his neck and kept it. I still keep it safe in my box, thinking that if I sell it or pawn it, I will be caught.
Ronnie then clapped his hands and said, "Well done! What you said is true."
"What you said is not a story; it is your confession. I have recorded everything. I have come to Mumbai to hear this from your own mouth. Do you really want to know who I am? Look here..." he said and took out his ID card and showed it to him.
It is written as, "Ronnie IPS: Special Investigator, CBI."
Ronnie: Those tools, the coffin, all that is a lie, just a setup. I already know you're watching me. I was pretending to make the coffin. I showed it to you on the camera you set up just so you could see it.
Timothy was very upset. He was wrong to think that no one would catch him.
Ronnie said, "You are under arrest," took the handcuffs from his bag, and put them on his hands.
I would like to invite
@heriadi to take part in this contest.
Discord : @jyoti-thelight#6650 Telegram :- https://telegram.org/dl

Steemit Challenge S26-w2 : Mysterious Roommate
Dear @ , here is the detailed assessment of your submission:
Your idea seems unique about Ronnie's tools that he brought to confuse Timothy.
Your idea to present Ronnie in disguise and pretend to show him as a criminal to take Timothy in his confidence was a good trick.
0.00 SBD,
15.79 STEEM,
15.79 SP
Curated by: @artist1111
Thank you @artist1111
Even though you said that you are not a creative writer, both of your stories for SEC 26 showed your skill as a writer. Although I truly liked your story, there were a few sentences that confused me. Your story is the best story for this week, aside from those points. Good luck.
Thank you very much for your appreciation.
May I know what they were?
A gripping tale with a perfectly executed twist. You had me hooked from the start to that brilliant finish.👋🙃
Thank you for your compliments.
Gran historia amigo. Muy buena. Me sorprendiste mucho al hacer que el personaje de Timothy fuera el malo. Buena narrativa y sobre todo, un gran final.
Thank you for reading and giving a great feedback.
You will know when you go back and read your story again where the reader got lost .For instance,
Another place
As a reader, I got confused in some places because of this. Sometimes it may be my inability; don't take it all too seriously. Good luck with the challenge.
Yes, you are right; it should be like this:
"There was a car shed on the ground floor of the building. When Ronnie lifted the shutter of the car shed, he looked around to see if anyone was watching him."
"Yes, there was a half-finished coffin there, which he could guess was Ronnie had finished half and came to do the rest of the work."
Now I've changed it. Thank you for pointing it out
Your humility in taking the pointing is really appreciated.
Hey @jyoti-thelight
I read your post it's like a tragedy I like your story ending it's interesting and amazing. I also participate in this contest and I mentioned you In my post u visit and see my creativity I hope u like it .
Best regards
@syedabatool