Second Chance Romance

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Dennis life looked flawless on paper. A glass office that caught the sun, a car that waited every morning, an apartment high enough to touch stars on clear nights. People smiled at him in lifts and said, “You made it.” He had made it, by every measure. When the lights in his flat went low at night, what stayed with him wasn’t music or even the city noise outside, it was just that heavy kind of silence. The one that sits on your chest when you pull off your tie after a long day and realize nobody’s there to answer back.

He carried one sharp memory like a stone in his pocket. Jenny. Not just a name, but a face that once warmed his ordinary days. She was there when his promotion felt like a miracle; she laughed at his half-jokes; she calmed him when the team was in flames. Then one evening everything broke. A small disagreement in his cabin—words like shards. He said something he could not take back. She left, and pride locked the door. He didn’t follow. He told himself tomorrow would be better. It never was.

Years passed. Dennis climbed. The trophies multiplied. But the higher he went, the lonelier it got. Applause reached him like echoes, never touching inside. Sometimes at night he rehearsed apologies he would never say. He dreamt of saying sorry properly, not the quick office type, but a raw one.

Then life placed Jenny back in front of him.

A client pitch, same boardroom. She wore a different jacket, calmer, eyes sharper, like she carried truths he didn’t. The meeting rolled like usual—slides, numbers, polished smiles. But between the charts he heard her voice, and something old cracked open.

Afterward, he stood awkward, then said, “Jenny.” She looked up. For a second the years stacked between them.

“It’s been long,” she said.

“I know,” he replied. His throat dry. “And I have been a fool.”

Fate wasn’t done. A joint company retreat put them by the lakeside at dusk. The air felt thin and honest. He walked beside her, not rehearsing words this time.

“You look peaceful,” he said clumsy.

“I have a life now,” she answered. “It’s quiet. It has space.” She didn’t ask about his life. Maybe she already knew.

He didn’t begin with apology. He began with truth. “I was protecting an image,” he said, “and I let it push you away. I’m tired of building things that only look good. I want to learn to be wrong, to be ordinary, to stay.”

She listened, minutes passing like waves. “Why should I trust that now?”

“I cannot demand it,” he said softly. “I can only show it, if you let me.”

The weeks after weren’t a movie. They were experiments. Work pulled them close again—late nights, overlapping projects, small lunches that began with updates but drifted into personal talk. Dennis stopped chasing perfect lines. He showed up instead with messy efforts: a book she liked, a note that said “Thinking of you,” a bouquet left at reception anonymously.

Jenny made rules. Not to punish, but to protect. “No promises you can’t keep. No grand speeches in public. Show me small things first.” He agreed. He forgot, then remembered. He stumbled, then tried again.

There were tests. In one meeting an investor praised him, urging him to lead a risky expansion. Old Dennis would have said yes without thinking. Instead, he turned to Jenny and asked, “Can you help me think it through?” Small to others, but for him, surrender. For her, evidence.

Not everything was smooth. Old habits whispered back. Pride sometimes pulled a chair. She noticed. “You’re doing that thing again,” she said once, when he polished a story too much. He listened, and instead of defending, he rewrote the report with plain truth. That night he learnt repair isn’t one act—it’s made of many small ones.

Months later, they walked in an evening rain, sharing one umbrella, shoes muddy. He didn’t lead; he matched her step. The city blurred soft around them. When she moved that loose hair off her face, it hit him. All the mess of who he used to be, and the person he was still trying—sometimes failing—to grow into.

“Will you try?” she asked, almost to the rain.

“I will,” he said, heart thumping. He knew it would take more than words. He knew it would be long.

She slipped her hand into his. Small, warm. Not a full acceptance of the past, but an opening. A chance to prove himself day by day. He squeezed back, not because he was perfect, but because for the first time he felt real.

They walked on. City lights blinked, indifferent but kind. The future wasn’t promised, nothing cinematic. But it was theirs to build, not for applause, but for the quiet mornings when someone else knows you’re human and stays.

I invite @promisezella @imohmitch @mr-peng to participate in this contest.

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Upvoted! Thank you for supporting witness @jswit.

Hello my dear friend, First of all, the beginning of the writing is quite cinematic, the way Dennis portrays his loneliness with “life looked flawless on paper” is captivating to the readers. The hustle and bustle of the city, the success of the office, the smiles outside, the loneliness hidden within it all felt very real.

Another great strength is Jenny’s character. You didn’t just bring her in as an old love, but as someone who has sorted out her life, is at peace, and doesn’t want to take the past back easily. This made the story more believable.

Thank you for the review.

Steemit Challenge Season 26 Week-4: The Unlikely Friendship

Dear @samuelbrilliant, below is the detailed assessment of your submission.

CriteriaMarksRemarks
Story start to finish4.65/5Good
Originality & Uniqueness1.5/3Satisfactory
Presentation0.9/1Good
My observation0.85/1The flashback scene wasn't expanded, even though the original prompt placed weight on it.
Total7.9/10

Feedback

  • Your ending was soft and hopeful, but it avoided the element of surprise or big twist that could have made it stand out more.

Moderated by: @waqarahmadshah

@waqarahmadshah, How do you expect all of this to be done under 800 words, if I had exceeded the limit to give you the full story comprising of everything that is missing, you would still come here and disqualify me, I don't know how you expect us to write and expand every prompt given and not exceeding the word limit, the same was done in the week before last, and instead of the participant to be penalised, he went on to win, it shows favouritism which should not be so.

Your story was good, but you lost some crucial marks in the originality section.

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Cc: @dove11

You should read the contest post which forbids you from using AI. You should read my reports which clearly state that we ignore mentioning AI use by the contestant in our remarks until someone questions our decisions.

And not only our contests posts including the last week, you have been posting using AI in other communities too which as a newcomer's team booming1 member I have checked and kept records of.
@waqarahmadshah