Steemit Challenge S26wk6 |Two timing

in #fiction-s26wk612 days ago (edited)


https://www.pexels.com/

John leaned back in his seat watching the Australian countryside slip past the window The bus hummed softly carrying him from Sydney to Canberra His phone vibrated flashing his wifes name He smiled answering quickly

Everything fine love The flight from Delhi to Sydney was longed but Im okay now he assured her They exchanged a few tender words before hanging up

As he slipped the phoned back into his pocket a girl in her mid twenties slid into the seat beside him Her hair fell in waves over her shoulders and her eyes held a spark of curiosity

Mind if I sit here she asked

Not at all John replied adjusting slightly

The bus lurched forward and soon their conversation began with simple questions Where are you headed What do you do but quickly turned into laughter and deeper stories She introduced herself as Tina a freelance designer and her energy filled the space around her

Hours passed unnoticed John found himself surprised at how easily he spoke about things he usually kept buried his dreams his worries even small frustrations about married life Tina listened with an intensity that felt flattering even intoxicating

As the bus neared Canberra John grew restless A strange temptation stirred within him When they finally stood to leave Tina extended her hand Their palms met briefly and as she pulled away he felt the press of something small her business card She smiled knowingly before walking down the aisle

https://www.pexels.com/

John stared at the card Why did she give it to me he wondered Was it professional interest or something unspoken His heart pounded as he slipped it into his jacket pocket

Outside the bus station his phone buzzed again A message from his wife Hope you reached safely Miss you already

The contrast between Tinas smile and his wifes words felt like two forces tugging at him from opposite directions His conscience whispered Dont even think about it Yet curiosity whispered louder What if

John stood frozen for a long moment before finally stepping into a cab He replayed the hours on the bus her laughter the glint in her eyes the ease of their bond It all felt dangerously close to something more

At the hotel he tossed his bag on the bed and pulled out the card A name a number and three simple words Call me anytime

That night John wrestled with himself He imagined dialing the number meeting her for dinner seeing where the night could lead But alongside the thrill he also imagined his wifes face if she ever found out the trust in her eyes shattered their years of love undone by a fleeting choice

He remembered her voice from earlier soft and sincere Take care love That memory anchored him more than any temptation could

With a sigh John tore the card into tiny pieces and flushed them away The decision hurt in a strange way as though he had walked away from a secret adventure but the relief that followed was stronger

The next morning John sat by the window of his hotel sipping coffee He reflected on how easy it was for temptation to slip into ordinary life a smile from a stranger a spark of connection the illusion of something new He realized how fragile loyalty could be when tested and how important it was to guard it fiercely

Tina would fade into memory just another face in the blur of travel But his wife she was real she was home she was the one who had built years with him not hours

John picked up his phone and dialed her When she answered he said I just wanted to hear your voice again

Her laughter warm and familiar filled the room And in that sound John knew he had chosen rightly

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Steemit Challenge Season 26 Week-6: Two-timing

Dear @sarosh-akbar58, below is the detailed assessment of your submission.

CriteriaMarksRemarks
Story start to finish4.7/5Good
Originality & Uniqueness2.5/3Satisfactory
Presentation0.75/1Satisfactory
My observation0.85/1The bond between John and Tina developed too quickly, making it less believable.
Total8.8/10

Feedback

  • Overall, you delivered a safe and thoughtful story, but it lacked originality in plot progression and depth in characters. You didn't take the creative risks that could have made it unique.

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