Steemit Challenge S26-w6 : Two-timing

John adjusted his seat as the bus left Sydney for Canberra. Not quite long, a call came in from his wife Sarah.


“Babe, how was your trip from Delhi, hope you arrived safely?”


“Yes love”. John smiled. ”You worry too much. Anyway, I’m on my way now to Canberra. Hopefully by tomorrow, we’ll be in each other’s arms.”


“I can’t wait babe, I’m missing you already” Sarah replied with romantic gestures.


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Just as the call ended, a beautiful lady, in her twenties, came and sit beside him. Her perfume subtle but intoxicating.


“Hello” she smiled. I’m Tina.


“John”, he replied, offering a handshake.


”We’ve got a long way ahead of us” Tina said settling into her seat. “Might as well, make it less boring”.


John chuckled. “With the right company, long ride often feel shorter”.


She made the hours of travel seem like a minute. Their conversation drifted from books, to movies and john found himself telling her somethings about his business trip, that he never told his wife. They were moments of silence, were their eyes locked with each other. The type of silence that speaks louder than words


The bus finally got to its destination at Canberra. Tina stared at John, her gaze lingering longer than necessary. She gave him her complimentary card, ”call me sometime”. A smile lingered on her lips


Before John could utter a word, she’d vanished into the crowd. John froze, staring at the card, wondering if he should discard it that moment or not?


But something kept holding him back.


When he arrived at his hotel, he placed the card on the table by the side of his phone. the warmth of temptation pulled him one way, while the weight of loyalty tugged the other.


He knew that just one call to Tina, and he would dive into an an adventure he would likely regret later but he was willing to take the risk beside , this is the first real spark he has felt in years.


He dialed her number and a soft voice came from the other end, “I knew you will call”, Tina said softly


“ I just wanted to thank you for keeping me company”. John replied clearing his throat.


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Tina laughed “Is that all? You don’t call a stranger at such odd hours, just to say thank you”.


“I’m married”, John blurted out as if he was confessing a crime.


“I figured”. Tina replied calmly. “The way you hesitated in the bus, gave you away. But, I’m not asking you for a ring, I just want to have couple of drinks with you.”.


The silence on John’s end grew cold because he could hear Sarah’s voice in his memory: “I miss you”.


John cleared his throat; “I don’t think is right”


“Then why did you call” Tina inquired


John became dumb because he had no answer.


“John” Tina’s voice softened again, “we don’t have to complicate things. Think of it like two strangers enjoying the moments, no strings attached”.


John’s pulse quickened as he walked around the room. Before he could reply, his screen flashed, an incoming video call from Sarah. The smiling face of his wife lit up the phone screen.


An incoming video call was coming from Sarah.


He quickly ended the call with Tina

“Hi babe”, Sarah smiled through the screen holding up her favorite dish. “This food is tasteless without you”.


“One more night and I’ll be right there with you” John replied feeling guilty. “But the food looks delicious”.


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A moment later, there 3 years old twin came behind her to interrupt the video call. “Daddy how are you?? Daddy when are you coming back? don’t forget to buy us ice cream”. You could feel the excitement in their voice.


“I’m fine my love” john chuckled. “Don’t worry, I’ll get lots of ice cream for you guys”


“Promise ??” One of the twin asked


“I promise”. John nodded.


Sarah laughed and told him “as you can see, we’re already counting the hours, so don’t be late.”


John felt a sharp pain in his chest as he watched his wife and the kid’s cuddle against her shoulder. “I won’t”.


When the call ended, he stared at the card on the table. As if it was mocking him.


He grabbed it and tore it into pieces.


For the first time that night , he felt peace within him and was grateful he didn’t crossed the line.


But somewhere deep inside, a silent voice kept asking, what is the worse that could happen, if he made the other choice??

THE END

I will be inviting @bossj23, @alexanderpeace and @chant

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Steemit Challenge Season 26 Week-6: Two-timing

Dear @sbamsoneu, below is the detailed assessment of your submission.

CriteriaMarksRemarks
Story start to finish4.65/5Good
Originality & Uniqueness2.85/3Good
Presentation0.9/1Good
My observation0.9/1You leaned too much on familiar and predictable dialogues.
Total9.3/10

Feedback

  • You delivered a complete story, and I can see the effort in tying temptation versus loyalty into John' s choices but you made the safe choice by ending with John rejecting temptation, but then you weakened your own resolution with the "what if" line. That left the moral lesson unclear.

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