OOPS i wont do it again!Wanted a gold medal, but only received a participation trophy
Kitchen Catastrophes: My Attempt at Being a Fancy Foodie
Hello, Steemit food warriors! Gather 'round the virtual stovetop for a tale of culinary ambition, epic fails, and a pizza delivery guy who deserves a medal. 🍽️😅
Picture this: I decided to channel my inner Gordon Ramsay and cook a fancy three-course meal to impress my friends. The menu? A Caprese salad to start, beef Wellington as the main event, and a chocolate lava cake to seal the deal. Sounds like a Michelin-star plan, right? Wrong. Let’s break down the disaster.
Course 1: The Caprese Salad Snafu
I thought, “How hard can it be to slap some tomatoes, mozzarella, and basil together?” Apparently, very. My tomatoes were so overripe they practically auditioned for a horror movie, squirting juice like a B-list zombie. The mozzarella? Let’s just say it was less “fresh” and more “forgotten in the fridge since last summer.” And the basil? I accidentally grabbed mint from my herb garden. Mint Caprese, anyone? My friends took one bite and looked like they were reconsidering our friendship. 😬
Course 2: Beef Wellington or Beef Woe-lington?
Next up, the beef Wellington. I watched three YouTube tutorials, bought a meat thermometer, and even whispered sweet nothings to the puff pastry to ensure it cooperated. Spoiler: it didn’t. The beef was tougher than my last breakup, and the pastry? It sogged out like a wet sock. I served what looked like a sad burrito with delusions of grandeur. My buddy Dave took a bite, chewed for a solid minute, and said, “Tastes like… effort?” Thanks, Dave. 🙄
Course 3: The Lava Cake Letdown
By now, I was sweating more than a chef on Hell’s Kitchen. The chocolate lava cake was my redemption arc—or so I thought. I mixed, I baked, I prayed. But when I cut into those cakes, there was no gooey lava flow. Just a dense, chocolatey hockey puck. My friend Sarah tried to be polite by thowing some in a nearby plant, i pretended i did not notice and cleaned it later.
Mayb next time I will try an Americanized version of these clasics