Strength in Weakness: The Smiling Darling

If someone ever told me that I could shed tears of joy at the delivery of my first baby and shed yet another tears of 'I don't know' just three months after, probably I would have disconnected myself from them. Why? This is because words can't describe the joy I felt at the sound of his first cry while I laid on the theatre table with the flesh of my belly cut seven layers deep open!

He came into the world active and enthusiastic like a first-class Harvard graduate on his first job after graduation!😅 He was so active that the paediatrician that cleaned and dressed him up almost didn't believe when he was told that he(baby) arrived at 38weeks! I'm told he kept changing his posture on the dressing table that the nurse had to suspend the cleaning of surgery 'tools' just to make sure he doesn't fall off the table before the he is completely dressed up. You could imagine!

Tears of 'I Don't Know'
Fast forward to three months later and I needed to get back to work. You know what Dolly Parton meant when she sang "...but you know we can't live on dreams alone, we've got to pay the rent...." I didn't know one could shed tears that's not of pain or joy, just something in between 😥
I'd run sleepless nights breastfeeding him and will need to get my skeleton standing as early as possible the next morning preparing myself and him for work! "Where's dad?", you may ask. Dad runs off to work earlier than us. No domestic assistant? We couldn't afford to pay one as at the moment 😥

So, in one of those hectic mornings, with my body screaming for more sleep and rest, baby needing to be dressed up, our ever big necessities bag asking to be packed as usual and time whispering "you'll be late to work", I broke down and cried, real tears flowed😭😭

But wait a minute! Why was I shedding tears? Aren't I grateful for having my baby? Or wasn't I glad I had a job that allows me carry my baby along and foot my always present bills at the same time? At that moment, it dawned on me that I was neither crying out of joy nor pain.... I just needed to unburden my overwhelmed mind and body.

Hey, I looked up a few minutes later only to see an angelic darling smiling so beautifully at me and inaudibly saying "Mom, you'll be fine."
In that instant, I felt like a stallion, sprang to my feet and the rest became history.

Today, we're 19 months old.💃
My smiling darling gave me strength in my weakness and he's doing even more today.
If your true life story sounds like mine here, just hang in there, you'll be fine before you know it❣️