This is a fantastic in-depth review for a game I had no idea existed.

But I'm not going to play it. In fact, I'm not going to get anywhere near it.

Dwarf Fortress damn near ended me. I can get drawn into complicated, ASCII-tiled Roguelike games the way black holes suck in all the light around them. The only way you know I'm even around if I'm playing one is the constant fart radiation regularly leaving my body.

Of course, now you have me wanting to test this out. There's that little part of my brain going, "It's free, what do you have to lose? Wouldn't it be nice to play something other than Dungeon Hack for a little while?" Then you, whispering like a crack dealer: "Pssst...! Hey, @modernzorker, c'mere! First one's free..."

But no, I cannot do that to myself. Or my wife. Or my dog.

I just can't.

But I tell you what...you write up your in-game exploits in a manner similar to the way the devious villains at SomethingAwful portray their multi-faceted, homicidal, and sociopathic Let's Plays of Dwarf Fortress, and I'll read and upvote every last one of them. :D