In Response To The #HeartGoodnessChallenge: Why I'll Do My Good Deeds From True Heartfelt Service - NOT The Need For Public Applause...

I woke up and checked Steemit today, almost shocked by a threat:

"I challenge you to play MY game by MY rules on MY timeline, or you HAVE to give YOUR money to someone of MY choice. If you don't accept, you are a heartless person."

That's not the literal message.

But I take the subcommunication in people's words to heart far more than what they intend to present on the surface.

And of course, it wasn't presented with any intention of coming off as a threat. Rather, a young, bright-eyed girl had selected me as one of the three 'lucky' participants to be challenged to doing a good deed with 24 hours, publish it, and challenge more people to do the same.

It's a great concept, and I commend @jennamarbles for her effort in trying to stimulate giving away a portion of the wealth generated through the site. I agree with the idea that it's honorable to donate to worthy causes and share one's wealth.

However, I do not agree with the way the proposal was presented - essentially, "do what I say within 24 hours or I'll make you look like a heartless money-grubber."

Yeah.

Of course, not everybody might see it that way. Many surely side with this chipper young lady committed to "making the world a better place" (via the means of publically shaming someone who doesn't conform to forced ideals about how charitible giving should be).

Yet, to be 100% authentic: receiving this "challenge" felt like a violation of my rights to privacy.

Why should I - or anyone else - be forced via such a threat to publicize what "good deeds" they do?

And how "good" is the deed that is done just as part of a game to win brownie points & applause from those who believe publicizing one's good deeds is more honorable and praiseworthy than the deeds done by someone who doesn't want or need the acknowledgement?

And to be real: I'm grateful for the reflections provided by this, to help me see the exact same behavior/attitude I may appear to be judging, within myself.

See, I've got two things lined up on my schedule this week: a DJ gig Wednesday, and going to make a donation at an orphanage with my fiance on Tuesday.

I HAD planned on taking some photos and writing up an article, entitled something along the lines of, "Steemit Gives $xxx To Help Balinese Orphans." Yet upon seeing the reflections within @jennamarbles' challenge - who, by the way, is NOT the famous YouTube star (who might not be so happy when she comes to Steemit and sees someone has attempted stealing her identity) - I have decided that I may NOT be publicizing my giving, apart from in this post here.

Why?

Because I'm not giving for public applause.
I'm not trying to win brownie points for being a "good person."
Because I don't have to fucking prove to ANYONE that I "have a good heart."

I will give FOR MY OWN REASONS. And these need not be publicized.

If I choose to share with the community how their support has benefited parentless kids in Bali, I will. Yet, the taste left in my mouth from this "challenge" is really swaying my preference to leave it a private matter.

Now, I could have played into the game, and begged and pleaded for a timeline extension.

As my existing plans didn't squeeze into her 24 hour deadline, I would have been a "bad person" if I didn't lower myself to ask for her permission of a time-extension, right...? I wouldn't have fulfilled HER rules for the challenge, thus proving myself a "heartless" person to the community, right...?

So in this moment of assessing the whole matter, the question arose: why should I have to explain, defend, or prove MY choices as to how I give my time, energy, and money in private to ANYONE?

If I had abandoned MY own plans for giving to the charity of MY choice on the schedule I've already set, just in order to win brownie points and appease an army of do-gooders who aren't yet mature enough to understand that coercision is NOT an effective method of garnering support and inspiring heart-based service - I would have sold myself out.

If I still were to publish a story Tuesday night about the orphanage donation, the timing would have come to appear as though I were playing into this game which I don't support (for what I hope now and clear reasons). Furthermore - it's clear that such a presentation would now appear as though I were giving for the purpose of winning approval, rather than for genuine reasons based in my own integrity which have nothing to do at all with how others view me.

Can Steemit be used to encourage giving? Yes.

Is it admirable that some are taking the initiative to encourage others to share the wealth they create through Steemit? Yes.

However, there needs to be a clear distinction between how such initiatives are executed as either an OPEN INVITATION for anyone to accept if the proposal is in alignment with them, and a coercisive threat infringing upon one's rights of privacy to their own charitable practices.

Because while it may be nice to give, it's NOT nice to put ANYONE on the spot and force your rules upon them, manipulating the situation to make them look like a bad guy if they don't choose to make a public display of their giving the same way you do.

People will give to whatever causes they choose for their own reasons. For anyone to think they "give someone the opportunity to give" in such a manner of conduct - as was stated in one of the comments on the related posts - is just straight fucking self-righteous B.S. And it's pretty arrogant to suggestively declare anyone doesn't have a heart if they fail to contribute to society in the exact same ways you do on your timeline.

Could Steemit be an effective platform for generating awareness around certain causes and raising money for them? Yes.

Does it serve the community to impose ideals upon others of how this should be undertaken? No.

No doubt, there will probably be people who view me as a heartless asshole for not accepting the challenge. So be it.

Maybe I will give a larger-than-normal percentage of this post to some charitable cause. Maybe I'll go spend it on hookers and blow. I won't. But I could. Because it's MY choice as to how I give/spend/invest my money, and it doesn't make me a fucking heartless asshole to demand the respect of my right to keep private what I choose to keep private.

Anyone who thinks they know who I truly am or what my motivations are - even if they've read every single blog post I've written here - hasn't even the slightest clue of how I live my life or what ways I might give back behind closed doors. And I keep it that way because it's nobody else's business. And how anyone else chooses to publicize their forms of giving & service are THEIR choices.

Maybe I am a cold-hearted sunnuvabitch and like it that way. Who the f^ck is anybody to come along and claim they're better than me because of it?? Who is any of us to judge another and make a public display of anyone else who doesn't live up to the judge's standards of what makes a person "good, for the subtle purpose of advancing their own cause and standing as "superior" above a cold-hearted sunnuvabitch?

Getting my point, yet?

So please, @jennamarbles - tweak your strategy for the second round.

Don't put people on the spot like this with an ultimatum.

There are PLENTY of people on here who would be happy to participate in your challenge. Open it to everybody without your rules or threats of making them like like a heartless person if they prefer to do their giving in private. There's more than enough people that would support a charitable giving intiative without having to isolate anyone and frame their lack of participation in your game as a reflection upon their character.

Keep up the good work. And please take to heart what priceless feedback there is in this response, as your results with giving campaigns will exponentially multiply the wealth created within and given outside the community once you implement these few key pieces of guidance in your approach...

p.s. after seeing @calaber24p/s great post, "My Kiva Experiment, Empowering Poor Communities With Steemit", I just donated $100 out to 4 applicants in Indonesia because I've been overdue for my random giving on there.

and if they're up for it, I nominate @kevinwong @infovore and @mammasita . if not, all good. they still have amazing hearts and all respects for them not needing to prove it to anybody. :-)

#heartgoodnesschallenge #charity #charitable-giving #publicity-stunts #tithe #tithing #steemit-giving #steemit-charity