"Can't Sleep..." ?
| Greetings, love & respect to all of my steemian friends. |
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I am @saifuddinmahmud from Bangladesh. There is a beautiful and amazing contest. The Contest name is "Can't Sleep..." ?. The contest organised by @soulfuldreamer. I am sharing a story. I hope everyone will like my post.
| Story: "Sleeping Danger" |
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It was almost 2:30 AM in the middle night. The dogs are barking outside of the house and the wind rattled the window panes. Mother was lying half asleep, her body tired. After passing a long day of work she wanted to fall asleep. But when she sleep seemed to escape him while he was handling the restless child. Just then she heard a whisper that "Mom, I can't sleep. Can I sleep next to you?" Out of habit, he answered half asleep, "Yes, my dear." But the next moment her heart pounded. Because she could clearly remember that her daughter had already been sleeping next to him since the first half of the night. When she opened his eyes then she saw that the little girl was really lying curled up on his right side. She heard that her soft breathing soaking in the pillow. So who was there and whose voice was still ringing in his ears? His heart rate begin quicker. Thousands of scary scenes were swirling in his head. Theft? Ghost? Or a dream? He slowly raised her head. In the moonlight coming through the window of the dark room. She saw that a blurry figure appeared in a corner. The little one looked like his daughter standing there. His throat was getting dry and he asked fearfully, "Who's there?" But there was no answer. There was no answer. But the shadow moved. He looked closer his chest pounding and then suddenly the wave of fear stopped. Because the shadow was not actually a person it was a huge teddy bear. The girl had put it on the bed in the evening while playing and he did not notice it in his sleep. But then where did the voice come from? Just then the same whisper again Mom, I can't sleep. He looked at the teddy bear this time and saw in surprise that light was shining from inside its throat. In fact, it was a voice-activated talking toy. The girl had recorded her voice the day before and it suddenly became active when she woke up. He laughed without knowing it. Coming out of his fear, he held Teddy's nose and whispered If you really can't sleep Teddy Babaji then you have to feed me milk right? This time the real voice came from the next room Mom! I went to the bathroom here. He stopped. He went. So who was the one sleeping next to him thinking that he was getting peace all this time? He slowly turned his head and looked. His daughter was indeed lying curled up on the bed. He paused for a moment. Teddy was next to him the real girl and another identical girl was coming in through the door.
My invitation friends
@solperez
@paholags
@rafi67
¡Holaaa amiga!🤗
Un relato que eriza la piel y, me hiciste recordar que cuando estaba en la universidad, la hermana de una amiga hizo una tesis sobre casos de la morgue... Después de varias visitas a ese lugar, ella comenzó a sentir cosas extrañas en su casa; con exactitud, cuando estaba en la cama, veía como esta se hundía de la misma forma que sucede cuando alguien se acuesta.
Te deseo mucho éxito en la dinámica... Un fuerte abrazo💚
I really liked the idea behind your story! The only thing that held me back a little was the switching between “he” and “she,” which made it a bit confusing at times. With a little polish in grammar and flow, your story would shine even brighter.
Looking forward to seeing more of your creative pieces.
He used a translator.
As a matter of fact, you never can rely on a translator without proof reading the result.
So, you (and your friend) have to be able to control the result on a basic level to avoid some nonsense.
Indeed. Relying on a Translator is not a good idea. I got that because he is my countryman. We don’t have a gender when we describe a pronoun like He/she. However, most of us are not serious about proofreading. I am afraid, many of us (Bangladeshi) don't know what this is.
Thanks for thinking and answering!
I also was thinking about the theme - what, if I want to publish in a language I cannot read basically?
This is not easy to answer. Do I take the risk of relying on a translator?
By the way, my words were not meant as a rule or law, just a recommendation, and if your friend has no friends to proofread, than we as the readers have to go through it and to try to guess what could be meant (if there seriously arises doubt).
Thanks for the explanation about the genderless pronouns!
Recommendations are needed. Sharing and recommending help us to know what is best. I often saw that writers had hangouts. They share their thoughts, and sometimes gossip about them. It is a great thing to improve our skills.
Think about this post, the author did not respond to any of our comments. Is this normal? No.
Another fun fact is, we don't have any gender pronouns for He/she. But we have a different word to mention the age for this. We use the same word to mention 'that person', 'this person', male, female. But we use a different word if someone is older than or younger than us.
Very interesting!
In German we have two different pronouns for addressing a person:
If the person seems not yet adult, we say "du"; but if the person seems to be adult, we mostly say "Sie" (exceptions for close friends, family members or some team colleages who we address with "du").
In English this is not possible - addressing someone always is with "you", as you know.
I've read that in Arabic language there are two pronouns to address people, but not for distinguishing older or younger or adult from not yet adult - but to distinguish gender: "you male" vs "you female".
In Arabic, they have this kind of pronoun. I have very little knowledge about that. Our gender works only on Nouns. Haha.
Yeah, I guessed it.
He could have proofread it. Simple grammar mistakes can be corrected with tools, without changing anything else. And no, we don’t need AI for this. Thank you for answering on his behalf.
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Hello @saifuddinmahmud.
The ending of the story reminded me of those doppelganger stories, and you also managed to give it an interesting twist.
Best regards!
ভাই, একটা পরামর্শ রইল। যখন ট্রান্সলেট করবেন, খেয়াল রাইখেন সব ঠিক আছে কিনা? অনেক জায়গায় 'He' চলে আসছে। অনেক জায়গায় 'His' আসছে। দুইটা চরিত্রই কিন্তু মেয়ে। He আসার কথা না।