I think not so many people have this fear at the level I had it, but I also think that not so few people have it, at least at a minimal level.

No, I didn't have a lover, because even when I would have a lady try to catch my attention, I would always act oblivious of whatsoever is going on. I acted so because I felt I would mess up if i ever obliged. Therefore i preferred to stay lonely, sad, and at least have my ego intact