The Danger of Sibling Rivalry

Dear parents, please teach your children the dangers of fighting.

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A REAL-LIFE EXPERIENCE

I was at the police station earlier, trying to complete some paperwork, when two young people were brought in.

One had a face carefully decorated with at least two powerful blows on the left chin. Whoever did the right-cross must have shoved the girl down multiple times as well.

It appears that they had a serious fist fight.

Her left shoulder had a huge scar. Her leg's calf oozed with blood, even though it was covered with a maxi dress.

It didn't look like she was planning to use her right hands any time soon.

The bruises and fracture! Phew!

Both of them looked like young people between 19-21 years old.

The boy, whom I later discovered was her half-brother, was furious. It looked like he was ready to give her one final blow before going behind bars.

When the police interrogated him, he repeatedly admitted to hitting her. Which shocked me.

He insisted that she opposed his decision, as such, deserved to be taught a big lesson.

I left even before the accused was detained and requested to write an undertaking.

THE POSITION OF THE NIGERIAN LAW

What this boy didn't realise was that the single act of exchanging blows constitutes a crime – assault — which is punishable by law.

For starters, my country and state have enacted laws that prohibit domestic violence. Anyone found guilty of any form of domestic violence, including physical assault, can face severe legal sanction.

Interestingly, there is no justifiable reason to assault others. That is because the state protects every single person, whether male or female, young and old.

Even self-defense becomes a crime when excessive force is used.

So, dear parents, please;

• Teach children how to handle conflict

Siblings rivalry is very common. So, there is a need for children to learn how to resolve their individual differences without resorting to using the fist.

a. Start by teaching them social skills like conflict resolution, empathy, emotional intelligence, and communication.
b. Encourage them to treat each other fairly, even when hurt.
c. Establish ground rules with a no-violence code as #1.
d. Model positive behaviours as well.

• Intervene before it escalates

While it is okay to not interfere when siblings argue, it is never acceptable to allow the fight to lead to a cry.
a. Step in quietly and try to calm them.
b. Also, aim at creating a "win–win" situation so each child benefits at the end. Remember that it is never in the best interest of children to focus on who should or who should not be blamed.

• Tell them the harm involved

Many siblings who fight are unaware of the implications. Is it the bond that weakens or the short time in jail? Sometimes, parents end up spending a lot of money at the station to bail out their children.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Siblings' fights can cause serious emotional distress within the family. To avoid complicated health issues and even financial loss, it becomes your duty as parents to guide children on how to resolve conflict amicably.

May the creator grant you the grace to nurture these children well.

_{Published 3 June 2025 • About Me}