Trying Something New - And the Stuff it Brings up

^{My new recording set up.}

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Lately I've been a bit distant because I've been working on something new - audio book narration. That may not sound interesting or attainable to some people, but it's something I've been wanting to try for a long time. What drove me to try this? These three reasons:

1. I am done working a typical job. There's way too many people out there and I have no desire to maintain work relationships in person. Working from home and on something creative is way more desirable.
2. Strangers have told me that I should narrate or take up radio because they love listening to me talk.
3. I believe that learning new skills is good for your brain.

While I love all of these reasons the third one is where I get stuck. I'm human and we're happier when things are easy right? It's more complicated than that, unfortunately. I want to keep my brain agile as I age and I know learning new things is one way to do that. So, I've been harassing ChatGPT and teaching myself to be an amateur sound engineer. And here's 3 things I've learned so far:

1. Learning new things means facing old insecurities head on.
2. Things always sound easier in theory. It's not just talking into a microphone and editing can take hours on a 2 minute recording. (at least when you're new and self-taught)
3. Getting good at something takes longer than I like. This is freaking hard! The microphone is so sensitive you have to practice how you talk.

When I decided to do this I thought "I was great at over-the-phone sales. I've read to audiences before and loved it. This is all going to be great." And over all, after a week of playing with things, I believe it is going to be great. But if you would have asked me about it on the second day I would have told you otherwise. All of my insecurities about being capable enough to learn new, difficult things came rushing back in. Old thoughts, like, "I'm so stupid. I'll never be good at this. This was a dumb idea. Again, I fail. I'm always going to be miserable." I had to face these thoughts and tell myself "That is fear talking. You can do this. You are just learning and that takes time." Now, I feel like I'm building self-confidence through this process and I'm proud of that.

In addition, I have a deeper voice for a woman and the cruelty I endured from bullies as a kid kept coming back up. When I was younger I refused to listen to recordings of myself or watch videos of myself. The thought of having to hear myself and see myself as I really was, was the most repulsive thing I could thing of. So here I am, listening to myself for hours, practicing positive self-talk, which is something I never thought I would have done. It's refreshing and encouraging to feel like I'm making personal progress.

But then there comes the other 2 things I've learned: -Things are easier in theory. - Things take longer than I like. I know it sounds wildly naive, but I had no idea the amount of technical skill in recording and editing this would take. The fact that I've had this a week to practice and am still learning really tests my patience, but the small gains I've made along the way and the fact that I kind of love reading the books out loud and with expression is really keeping me going. My husband, the musician, reminds me that people go to school for sound engineering and it's not easy. I now know it may take a while to produce a real quality recording, but I'm enjoying it enough and am learning fast enough that I know I will keep going until I start getting gigs. I'm happy with the fact I can accept and honor the amount of time this process will take.

^{Free editing program - Audacity.}

I would eventually like to record some guided meditations. Are guided meditations something you would use? What platform would you like to use to access something like guided meditations on?

Any thoughts are appreciated. Thank you for reading this post and I hope you have a beautiful day.