Contest: "Marriage 50/50; Fair or Impossible?"

Hi steemit,

I've been thinking a lot lately about this"50/50 marriage" idea. We hear people say, "Marriage should be fair. You both give half, take half." On paper,it sounds beautiful equal partnership, balance, shared roles.
But is that truly possible? Or is it more of a nice ideal that rel life stretches and sometimes breaks?

Let me tell you what I believe, based on what I see, what I hope, and what I fear.

Why "50/50" sounds right

When I imagine marriage,I see two people walking through life side by side both working,both hurting,both dreaming. In that image,it makes sense that you both carry weight. If one is lifting more,the other should lift more too. If one is down, the other should be up. That's partnership.

I grew up watching couples where the husband and wife each had responsibilities. The husband did some,the wife did some. Yes, there was imbalance at times, but there was also support when one of them broke down. That balance made it look easier,more humane.

So in my mind, 50/50 is beautiful to believe in. It says: You're not lesser.
I'm not lesser. It says marriage is a team sport.

Why 50/50 is hard in reality

But here's the thing: life doesn't come with a perfectly even scale.
Some days, I'll be the one bleeding emotionally drained, exhausted, catching up to life's punches. Other days, you'll be the one struggling, trying to survive. That's how life works. The scale tips.

Money, health, family, mental strength these are unpredictable.
One person may lose their job. One person may fall sick. One person may carry more burden in a season.
That's not unfairness that's life.

Expecting 50/50 every moment is like expecting the sun to shine equally every day. It's not realistic.
Sometimes, marriage needs"60/49," "80/20," or even"100/0," for a season. And you stay because love sometimes means shouldering more when the other can't.

Also,power, personality, upbringing all these shape how people behave. Some partners grew up helping, some didn't. Some are more emotionally literate,some are not.
So when the chips fall, balance tilts unless you both work hard.

My thoughts: Fairness does not always look like equality

I believe marriage should strive for fairness,not a rigid 50/50 all the time. Fairness means this:

When one is weak, the other steps up even if it's not"equal" that day.

You accept imperfection and still stay.

You forgive when one side fails.
You talk when one side is distant.

In my ideal marriage,we communicate. We adjust.we offer grace. We don't keep score. Because scorekeeping kills softness,kills love,kills trust.

A time I saw imbalance and what it taught me

I once watched a couple I admired. The wife was always working, supporting her spouse, watering his dreams, carrying home little by little. But when she was down, he'd complain she didn't support him enough. I saw the hurt in her eyes.
I saw how unfair balance could be and then gets tired.

That scene taught me boundaries matter. That respect is not automatic. That marriage partners must check themselves. That sometimes you have to speak, even if your throat is dry because your peace matters.

How would I want a 50/50 in my marriage (if/when I enter one)

If I ever marry,this is what I would hope for:

You see my pain and càryy me, not because I demand it, but because you love me.

I see you when you struggle and come through.

We don't fight over chores or tasks,we fight for understanding and solutions.

We speak up when the scale is tipping.

We apologize when we do less than our best.

We mentor ourselves and grow so balance become easier.

I want marriage where" I love you" is backed by action. Where love is tough but soft. where I can rest in your strength, and you can rest in mine.

Conclusion

Is "50/50" marriage fair or impossible? I'd say it's fair in principle, but too rigid in practice.
Life will stretch you, surprise you.
The goal is not perfect balance the goal is a partner who knows your heart, and shows up when you falter.
A partner who fights with you, not against you.

If I enter marriage someday,I won't chase 50/50 every hour. I'll chase respect,grace, empathy, and growth because those are the real balances that save marriage when the scale tilts.

So yes, I'll believe in marriage. And yes, I'll believe in balance. But I'll also believe in seasons of imbalance and in love that stays anyway.

Thank you for reading.
Inviting @ukpono @peachyladiva @peace