Contest: "Marriage 50/50; Fair or Impossible?"
Assalam-o-Aliakum Friends.
🍀.Do you believe husbands and wives should share bills, house chores, and responsibilities 50/50? Why or why not?
As my friend @ninapenda already said , marriage is a partnership, a teamwork, and she said that different peoples have different opinions, so I agree with that. I would like to highlight her point and explain to you about it.
As you know, I also know that marriage brings different opportunities and opinions for different people. If I talk about my culture, it is said here that it is the man's job to earn money and the woman's job to take care of the house. Here, women are not pressured to do their job. Here, men are so important to them that they say that our job is not to work for the house. A man in my country cannot help their wives in home. Doing the housework a problem for their ego, then why should a woman work outside the house and help him? Therefore, in the culture I live in, the woman takes care of the house and the man does the outside work. And if a woman starts working outside with a man, people say that her husband is poor and cannot manage his money, so he is eating his wife's earnings.
Some people's thinking is very backward. Even you can't debate. That's why I think that marriage is a partnership. Marriage is a team work. You should know that you cannot put pressed on a single person. If you two work outside, then it is the duty of these two people to work as a team at home too. Both of them are partners, partners created by God. So it is your duty to make your marriage serious, beautiful and happy and not to burden one person and give him the trauma of his life and make him regret that why did I get married blindly? Now the entire responsibility is mine.
🍀.In your opinion, does “equal” always mean “fair” in marriage? Explain.
Equality and fairness are two different things in the context of marriage. Let's talk about what ultimately helps separate the two.
Equality.
Here, equality means that you support each other in household expenses, help each other in household chores, and apart from that, if you have to take any decision, then there should be mutual understanding between you and if you both agree on something together, then it means that equality is important in your home and the role of your home is equality.And the most important is respect, meaning that you love each other equally. Whatever is in your love, you are giving it respect. You are also thinking about the emotions and mood of the other person, just as he is thinking about your mood. So when we talk about this thing, this thing is called equality.
Fair.
When we consider each other's feelings and needs ,priority, circumstances and understand what the other person needs, we call this a fair relationship. This means that having fairness and equality in your home are both very important things. Of course, these two things are different, but they both go hand in hand. In order to build a good home and a good relationship, to build a healthy relationship, it is very important for you that fairness and equality, even if they have different meanings, both must coexist.
🍀.If one partner earns more money or has a busier job, should the other take on more house chores?
I think this is a fair decision. If your partner is earning more money, it means that he will be busier. Then he will not have time for you to help with the housework. You will have to manage this yourself. If you think that I am being abused or that I am doing all the housework alone, then you are wrong. He is out of the house only for your needs and for better future of both. He is working hard for you. He is paying the rest of the bills ,loans and other expensive alone . He is taking all the responsibility of money alone. And he knows how much he is putting up with this drama. When he will not let you take all the outside responsibility and the tension of money, then I think you can provide him comfort. He is not being a burden on you,Don't forget marriage is all about beautiful partnership with your loved ones.
🍀.What are practical ways couples can balance responsibilities without feeling stressed or unfairly treated?
Marriage is not a joke, nor is it a relationship where two people are living together and they break up and no one cares. Marriage is a big decision. You should take it only when you feel that you are worthy of taking responsibility. Marriage means two people teaming up and spending their lives together,In which emotions, mutual understanding,loyalty and caring for each other, respect are all very important and for any relationship, be it marriage or any other relationship, the most important thing is love. You can get love only when you can give love to others and love brings respect with itself.The key of happy marriage is love, respect, equality and trust.
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You know, we've all being fed with the ideology of men go out to work, while the women are the home makers but I think it's high time we drop it because it is outdated. No one is meant to slave away in marriage.
Marriage is for good, exploring, love, peace and everything beautiful but we sometimes make it toxic for our partner like its the right thing. If only we all understands marriage, it would be rosy for everyone.