If you don't think at daytime you will at night.

Right. Even when we don't think of it. It's just hidden somewhere in my mind.

I don't think II will want to allow myself to get hurt by the rejection of that friend again- she's been ignoring all my messages for years. I even apologized not knowing what I did wrong.

I have friends that would keep in touch with me but i couldn't interact with them on a deeper level. Most of my close friends now are writers from other countries.
Relatives? I didn't keep in touch with them at all.