Washing hands is only for wimps 👹🍣🎎 Mein Japan

I am quite glad that some of the glorious customs of our Western civilization, which in the eyes of many is far superior to all others, have not yet reached the land of the rising sun.

In other cultures, offering someone your bare hand may be proof that you do not intend to strike them down and kill them in the next moment. But here in the Far East, where all those wild and barbaric folks live who've never heard of any customs and manners, this gesture is usually met with amazement and won't be returned.

I'm not sad about that at all!

Visiting a wide variety of places in different corners of the planet has taught me something amazing. We humans seem to be more alike than we realize.

Everywhere you look, you see members of our so highly developed species who, after the liberating act of urination (or even more), manage to find the quickest exit without washing their hands. They skillfully dodge and ignore anyone else present, true to the motto: nothing touches my hands that I haven't produced myself.

When you consider how they use their unwashed hands later—whether it's to grab some food or a door handle, scratch their chin, or unfortunately shake hands—I for one can happily do without having such smelly and probably diseased hands thrust at me, let alone being forced to shake them.

Too often I am witnessing how some young boys (it still takes a long way before they can be called a man) managed to find the quickest way out of any toilet or bathroom, without losing any thoughts on their way out. And it is not only the younger generation, to often I see this with the older ones as well.

I'm not usually one to get upset, but now I find myself praising this bowing ritual of greeting and farewell, which many Asians perform in various ways, sometimes more and sometimes less skillfully and elegantly. Bodies and bodily fluids keep a respectful distance from each other, and you keep your own germs to yourself.

Unfortunately, this pagan ceremony of nodding one's head is unlikely to become a global success, as the mutual desire for closeness and affection seems too strong.

It doesn't always have to be a hug or kiss; even a firm and manly handshake is enough to share one's own excretions with everyone.

Of course, closeness is a human need, and gestures such as handshakes have their place. But perhaps it is time to understand a little more distance as a sign of respect in our culture too—and hygiene not as an option, but as a matter of course. Just something to think about overnight...