They Just Have to Stack Existential Survival Problem Side by Side With First World Problem
Maybe it's easier to just own up to everything and let them assume that I'm the problematic one, even though it's not entirely my fault.
It's a part of me and my condition, and how I got myself trapped in this situation.
Everything I'd say would be automatically perceived as flimsy excuses for my so-called anti-social behavior. I've pushed many people away from my life because I couldn't bring myself to explain it all.
The frustration of trying to be understood.
How does one even begin to tell that story? Who would want to listen to four decades of what sounds like complaining and whining?
Is it an introvert issue?
Mental health?
Neurodivergence?
To them, it feels like I'm just making up labels and excuses.
I know that's what most people with good lives think. They can never truly understand my problems.
Most of them would see my struggles as non-problems—not real-world issues like the taxes the rich have to pay, the headache of under-reporting profits, the specific color they want for their latest convertible not being available, or not being able to get their hands on the latest ugly-cute blind box doll.
Photo by Martynas Linge on Unsplash
They all have real-world problems, unlike me, and they're just so fed up with listening to me and my woes. Most of them have low tolerance for my difficulties.
This is why I'm sometimes reluctant to open up to the people around me. It makes me feel so small when they start to compare problems.
This is also probably why people need to go for therapy or just pay to speak to strangers—someone that can sit through those complaints and whines without rolling their eyes.
I’m telling myself to not take offense to that, perhaps their eye rolling and heavy sigh are some kind of allergic reaction to my problem of existential survival.
©Britt H.
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More interesting is to have a closer look at: whose stating. The anti social itself most likely.
I left a post with an interesting video topic x honesty.
There's always different perspective to see things from
My little existential question. What can I care about, how others perceive me? What matters is me and my perceived and lived world. My values. Which will rarely coincide with anyone's, in general or in particular. You are the center of your inner and outer world. Other people's world is their own problem.
Why have so many doubts? Just feel free, happy, creative. The world is a mirror. No one can enter your own world. Even pain is in the mind; we allow it, we cling to it, or we transform it into beauty.
I know what I'm talking about. Limitations surround me. They're a great domino effect: standards fall, and new ones fall and fall. But that won't stop me from thinking and trying to see the best in every possible event.
As a friend once said: Life, however you come, I'll live you.
Everyone goes about their own lives, self-contained and seemingly unaware, until someone asks, "How are you?" The moment I answer honestly, the comparisons and invalidation begin. This is why my response, without fail, is always a simple, final, "I'm good."