When Your Core Being and Sources of Joy Become Their Target

Each time it happens, you still ask yourself, Oh, why?

But how can it be a surprise? It's painfully obvious now: you're the one wearing the bullseye.

You know exactly how they'll come for you each time there's a genuine smile on your face. They just can't hide the glee as they rush in to rip that happiness away.

I won't call it a bitchy thing for someone to do, but you know I know. We all recognize that ugly thing for what it truly is.

Photo by charlesdeluvio on Unsplash

quick, hide!
be the silent grey wall
undo the bullseye on you
be invisible
so they won't find you at all

don't show any undamaged skin
conceal everything
especially the parts that healed
they must not see you well

let them still see the weakness
let them think you are dying soon
as what they had wished for

become as dumb as stone
as motionless as a rock

don't let them know
of the knowledge you keep tightly under lock

don't let them see the light in you
don't show the seeds in your hand

pretend you know nothing
pretend you do nothing

muffle your cries
bite your tongue
the tears you must dry
with the back of your bleeding hand

don't give them the satisfaction
of seeing you bleed or you cry

keep your treasures close to your heart
what you loved, what you deeply cherished
they would have murdered your beloved
just look how they fix their eyes on your pets

keep your passions secret
your ventures out of their sight
they'd have to clutch on
to their cruelty unused
and you shall keep your light

pretend you can't hear them
the curses and arrows they throw and send
would bounce back
let them think
it's no use to talk to a deaf end
they'd unsheathe their verbal arrows
for you to survive another day

don't let them see the light in you
don't show the seeds in your hand

pretend you know nothing
pretend you do nothing

muffle your cries
bite your tongue
the tears you must dry
with the back of your bleeding hand

don't give them the satisfaction
of seeing you bleed or you cry

pretend you don't understand
just simple nod and smile like an idiot

never to retort or reply
no matter how cruel or vile

even as they're twisting the jagged knife
keep that pain inside your flesh
let the silence be your chosen shield
you know they love it
when their cruelty bear fruit

Be the grey wall. Be the rock. Don't show them tears and blood. No cries. Just smile and nod.

Notes:
I wouldn't recommend this as a first-choice coping mechanism. You should only resort to it if you're dealing with entities that are truly… I struggle for the word - are they human?

Let's just say you have an evil, malicious monster clinging to your back, constantly trying to claw your face out.

But be warned: maintaining that grey wall - being emotionless, unmoving, and cold is deeply exhausting.

Worse still, you may become so accustomed to the constant coldness that it eventually kills your own inner light.

There's a classic, dangerous truth: that to defeat a monster, you sometimes have to become one yourself

©Britt H.

Thank you for reading this.

More about the person behind the writing in My Introductory Post

Contest: Daily Prompts for FreeWriters

The writing challenges are sponsored by @wakeupkitty Steemit witness @wakucat- Tales & Stories (6 UVF/Steem/SP)