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RE: Personal tradition/Tradición personal
I didn't forget and I cannot say the sharp edges are gone. I could even say that the older you get the more you remember which is true. It is like @gertu say: you give it place and learn to live with it. If you cannot do that it will be hard to get older. Imagine you get Alzheimer's Disease, live in the past and have to relive all that misery again.
It is better to remember the pleasant moments than to remember everything that hurts us; again and again.
Very true, but we cannot wipe out what happened. Some brains remember way more than others, some learn from it, some need reminders because their heart is too good and they will be abused time after time, others are fine with whatever it is .
Remembering doesn't mean you go through the same misery every minute of the day. It's the awareness and reminder what happened. Knowing it did happen and it's not made up.
The worst for victims (a better word is survivors) is to be told they should forgive, should forget or tell them it didn't happen and they made it up.
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I personally believe that it is possible to forgive the one who cruelly hurt us. Because the one who is an evil being does not suffer because he did wrong, it is the victim who bears the suffering. I, myself, can forgive wholeheartedly, but what I cannot erase is what I experienced, who hurt me and what he hurt me. I can never forget that. And much less have the person next to me wanting to justify himself.
I tell you I can say "I forgive you, but stay away from me."