I didn't went with my family for a mini-vacation today but that is okay I'm used to it anyway
Someday great things will come. Somewhere it will all be fun.
My siblings agreed upon going to a private resort near our town, a chance to get together for some swimming, eating, and of course talking. It is a kind of party celebration because it was my sister's birthday a few days ago. I chose not to come because for one thing I didn't liked the weather, it is quite raining lightly here although the temperatures now are more comfortable because it is not as hot compared to the past weeks. I bet that the rains will come frequently because the Month of May is closing and in the past the rainy season would often start in these coming months.
One main reason that I chose not to go is because of my body, I am not in any way comfortable in moving around and sitting where I am not comfortable. Sure there will be an airconditioned room where I can stay at the resort but not in my own setting here in my room, and then what I will do inside that room? Fiddle with my Smartphone? Much less walk around the resort and feel the pain and suffer the consequences afterwards, I just can't ask my mother to wheel me around and then I don't bet that the resort has some padded seats considering that I am not comfortable sitting n the first place.
I am also frustrated not being able to swim, which I can't. I mean I would like to use the supposed swimming pool there but my body will certainly will not be allowing me but although it is a little factor of a frustration for me, it is still making me sad. But it could have been better if I did chose to come along so that at least I can talk to my brothers with a much longer time but maybe next time, when my body is not that burdened with pain and mobility issues which I still hope and pray to God that will improve since I am keeping on experiencing improvement in my bones although at dialysis, things are not getting better for me and it is still the same.
However I am glad that my parents had a chance to get together with my siblings and their in-laws and grandchildren because I can't remember my parents going for a mini-vacation. Mine was when our former dialysis center operated by our church organized to let us visit the church's beach resort and it was more than two decades ago! I am glad that I went two times (I think) because I never knew that it was my last.
The succeeding church resort visits by the dialysis staff were just among the attending physician, the head nurse and the nurses and the patients were just excluded, alienated, I quite cringe when I happen to think about it. Well I guess birds of the same feather would flock together, definitely the patients are not with the league of my former physician, the head nurse which was his wife and the dialysis nurses plus the technicians too. Well, it is a "no biggie" if you come to think of it because of course, people are free to chose who will be their friends or invite to go to a resort for that matter ha ha.
Anyway it makes me think how I can enjoy my life anymore? I can't eat that well, I am punished if I eat normal amounts of food, I have a strict diet which I needed to follow. I am a semi-vegetable human being, no wife, no kids, I have friends but can't hang-out with them. I am a handicapped person, I have an appearance problem. I can't travel, go to malls, go to visit my relatives in my mother's side of the family. I can't drive a car although maybe I can buy one. What is there else for me to enjoy in this life? I really can't have any joy staying in this world.
The only thing that I am clinging into is that hope that I can go to heaven where there is only joy. No more pain, worries, sadness, tears, and all the negative things which we all experience in this world. But although I can hope to get there, meanwhile I am still here and have to endure and survive while I am still alive and I am not physically happy because I am denied of happiness no matter how I tried because so many odds are well-stacked against me life my life is programed not to experience joy in this world.
Photography device: Vivo X200 PRO
Camera Sensors: 50 MP Main Camera
Camera Mode: Photo
ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ɪᴍᴀɢᴇs ᴀʙᴏᴠᴇ ᴀʀᴇ ᴏᴡɴᴇᴅ ʙʏ @cryptopie 𝘶𝘯𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘰𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘳𝘸𝘪𝘴𝘦 𝘪𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘤𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥
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Upvoted! Thank you for supporting witness @jswit.
Hey @cryptopie, thanks for sharing this personal reflection and the snapshots of your family's resort trip! Your honesty about the physical challenges and frustrations you face truly resonates, and it takes courage to be so open. While you couldn't join in the fun this time, it's heartwarming to see your positive outlook on your family's enjoyment.
I especially appreciate how you acknowledge the difficult aspects of your daily life while still clinging to hope and faith. It's a powerful reminder that even in the face of adversity, inner strength shines through. Thanks for being so real and sharing your journey with us. Sending positive vibes your way! 🙏✨