How Do You REALLY Feel?

Every day, we go through a wide range of "social niceties," mostly because we've been taught that's the polite thing to do and our parents said "that's how we do things."

So we meet somebody — friend or stranger — and we say "how are you today?"

It's not actually a genuine question, in most cases people don't actually care — even the slightest bit — how you're actually feeling. It's just a greeting we exchange.

When I was a little kid the terminology was "how do you do?" That's pretty much the same question just a slightly different piece of phrasing.

Because we tend to be so superficial with our social small talk, it's remarkable how many people actually don't have any idea how they're feeling, at any given moment. We are completely out of touch with our bodies, and with our minds, and with our souls and spirits.

You could even argue that our hearts are not in alignment with reality.

Most of the time, I feel all sorts of things that would probably take about a 5-10 minute monologue to pass along to whoever was asking. Of course we don't bother people with that long explanation because when they're asking they don't really want to know how we're reallyfeeling.

So we answer with the obligatory "I'm fine, thanks!" even if our beloved dog just died.

In the course of my life I've been blessed to have known a handful of people with whom this was actually a serious question that could be explored. We could be genuine with each other.

When I reflect on it, I recognize that one of the reasons I have typically had very few friends is because I don't like to play around in the social shallows too much and I have always been particularly useless at small talk. That's not to say that I don't know how to do it, it merely means that I don't like to do it. And because I don't like to do it I'd simply avoid it, and in order to avoid it I have to reject most social norms, and by rejecting most social norms I end up spending a lot of time alone.

Pretty simple piece of deductive reasoning.

The irony is that many people secretly wish they could have more authentic depth of connection and discussion with those around them. But we just don't because it's not how polite society works.

Actually, that's a shame, because being able to truly relate to another person and share about yourself can be both a very beautiful, as well as healing experience.

And definitely not one to be avoided!

Thanks for visiting, and have a great week ahead!

How about YOU? Are you good at small talk? Do you enjoy exploring DEEP connections with people? Leave a comment if you feel so inclined — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!

(All text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is ORIGINAL CONTENT, created expressly for this platform — Not posted elsewhere!)

Created at 2025.10.13 00:47 PDT
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