The Idea... and the Reality

Have you ever had something — or someone — in life that you felt like would be absolutely "perfect," even though it/they seemed out of your grasp?

We often encounter such situations, even if we are not entirely aware of doing so. And it's not so unusual for the idea that forms in our head to increasingly deviate from the reality, the longer it remains out of our reach.

Perhaps this sort of dichotomy has become a little more common in the age of the Internet, in the sense that we often get acquainted with people we feel like we really connect with online... but when we meet them in the flesh, the proverbial bloom falls off the rose.

Of course, sometimes it can work in the opposite direction, as well... but experience has taught me that is far rarer.

Perhaps it is easier to illustrate with people we might meet, although it's not so unusual that we order the "perfect thing" (or so we THOUGHT) but when it shows up at our front door, we're a little disappointed.

What's really going on? Are we just such poor judges of what we want and like?

Alas, most of the time, it is neither the person nor the thing that are to blame... but ourselves.

When we really build up persons or things — the "objects of our desire" — we are typically looking for something to fill up an empty space inside. An empty space that cannot actually be filled by either a person or a thing.

What is this empty space we're trying to fill? And why do we believe that something external to ourselves would be capable of filling it?

Even if you have only dabbled in the field of self-improvement and self-awareness, you have undoubtedly come across the idea that we have to learn to love ourselves before we can love another. Or maybe you have heard it as healing ourselves before we can heal the world.

Although it is a rather overused truism — an many people misunderstand the underlying message — the sad truth is that no person or thing can fix the broken place inside you!

It is up to you to fix that space.

You may think otherwise — particularly in the realm of people — but if something is "broken" inside you, you will only attract those who are drawn to broken things... and the connection will very quickly turn toxic.

The path to some kind of wholeness is not easy... because you often have to come face-to-face with aspects of yourself that you'd really rather not confess to. But unless you do, it will be all but impossible to fill that empty space inside... and no amount of idealizing the impact of a "someone" or "something" will bring you the reality you want.

Sure, it might for a very short time, but we all tend to seek long term contentment!

And when you start seeing the world — and the people in it — through a more realistic lens of perception... then you can love and be loved as you really are.

And that's well worth it!

Thanks for visiting, and have a great Friday!

How about YOU? Do you ever find yourself indealizing people and things you don't actually have in your life? Have you ever felt disappointed after a long build-up to a reality? What was missing? Leave a comment if you feel so inclined — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!

(All text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is ORIGINAL CONTENT, created expressly for this platform — Not posted elsewhere!)

Created at 2025.09.19 00:11 PDT
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