The Temptation to Just Run Away!

Have you ever sat and contemplated your life, and gradually reached the conclusion that you really wanted to ”run away from yourself?”

I'll be the first to admit that I have, from time to time.

I'll also be the first to admit that once I get down inside that particular paradigm, I quickly bump my head against the question ”but where would you run TO?”

Sometimes our realities get pretty painful; it feels like we just can't get up and face another day of the same thing over and over again. When we enter dark periods of our souls, we also end up finding it difficult to see alternatives to where we are right now. It feels like we have — quite literally — ”tried everything.”

That can become painfully evident when we get stuck in a hole where we have a particular type of routine going, and the routine works somewhat effectively as a place to perpetually tread water, but it doesn't seem like it's ever going to lead to anything better. And so, there's an edge of desperation that starts to creep in, and it also ends up coloring our overall mood and our inclination to keep working.

I have experienced a number of such periods over the course of my years on this planet.

Earlier today, I smiled wryly to myself as I really considered that the ups and downs of my life have worked much like the ups and downs of the Cryptosphere!

What I mean by that is that overall I have to admit that I'm better off than I used to be, but the path there seems to have been one of mostly slow decline days punctuated by a much smaller number of euphoric up days.

Given my own personality — which typically values stability and consistency very highly — living life on such a kind of roller coaster ride is not really very comfortable.

I'm not suggesting any of us gets to live a totally stable and steady life... after all, existence isn't really manufactured that way!

The thing about trying to "run away from yourself" is that you'll never succeed!

As the old truism goes: "Wherever you go, there you are!"

Meaning that even if it feels very tempting to just leave your life behind, for all intents and purposes disappearing, and then starting over in the completely different place... you're likely to just subject yourself to a new version of the same painful mistakes, except with "new geography."

Before I moved 2,200 miles (3500km) across the country (in 2006), one of the things that "delayed" me was a concerted effort to "get my world in order" before moving. My friends actually got tired of listening to me saying "I'm going to move!" and it not happening for 4-5 years!

When I finally did move, I was able to leave a lot of my old garbage behind as "processed and out the door." Which is not to say that I actually change my personality, or anything that drastic. But I did work on — and changed — a number of negative habits.

But I'm still the same person. I'm still "too empathic." I'm still "not agressive enough." I'm still "too sensitive." I'm still "too weird" for many people...

I suppose the end "lesson" here is that I ultimately didn't run away, I ran towards something that suited my authentic self better... in terms of geography, politics, climate, culture and more.

Small wonder there are so many of Scandinavian heritage living in this region — about 750,000, according to the most recent Census!

Thanks for stopping by, and have a great 4th of July weekend!

How about you? Have you ever felt like just "running away" from yourself and your life? What did you actually do? Leave a comment if you feel so inclined — share your experiences — be part of the conversation!

(All text and images by the author, unless otherwise credited. This is ORIGINAL CONTENT, created expressly for this platform — Not posted elsewhere!)

Created at 2025.07.03 23:26 PDT
x961/2195