I can relate to this. Growing up and being told that your feelings are stupid or irrelevant is awful and alienating. I still have trouble with emotional regulation. I cry when I'm overwhelmed or angry. I shut down sometimes and I go blank when I am pressured. Spelling bees and flash cards in school were a nightmare because I would get nervous and just stare at them. Because of this I was put in "slow" classes in school and my mother relentlessly bombarded me with flash cards and spelling at home because she was embarrassed that I was stupid.
As you can imagine this wasn't helpful and has done its share of psychological damage. I continue to struggle with not feeling good enough or feelings of loneliness, but I also continue to shape my life around what works for me. Trying to get into ebook narration is first on my list and then if that doesn't pan out maybe some foot pics LOL :) I had to add a little humor to a heavy subject as that is one of my coping mechanisms.
Thank you for sharing this and I hope things are well.
I'm sorry you had that experience, as well. It leaves a permanent trauma scar that's very difficult from people to genuinely move on from.
If you're not fmiliar with it already, you might be interested in the work of Dr. Elaine Aron, on High Sensitivity and sensory processing sensitivity (SPS) as a genetic trait: https://hsperson.com/
Disclosure: She also happens to be a friend, from "way back;" we first connected over this topic in 1997.
I have the same issue with "slowness" and I was pointed to this next thing... before it was really a thing. You might find it informative, as well: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_disengagement_syndrome
I generally reject all this as a "diagnosis" and instead focus on it as an explanation and background for some of what I am experiencing.
Thank you so much for this information! I always appreciate hearing things that worked for other people. I hope you are well!