Hello @cryptopie it's sad to read you, I can't imagine what you are going through, I'm sure it must not be easy at all, but in spite of that you must make the most of life, there is not much or little left, we must try to live as well as possible, I know in your case it's not that easy, but try to see the positive things in life and make the most of them, don't fall into those negative thoughts, I know about that, and it doesn't lead to anything good. Get well!