You have done a good job, with a couple of details. The first and most obvious is that the format of the contest is 16:9 (horizontal) and you did it in 9:16 (vertical).

The second one is more of a suggestion, if you want to place the "bloopers", I suggest you do it at the end of the video, if you do it together with the development of the video (the part with the girls) it diverts the attention from what you want to transmit, which is the review.

You did a good editing job, very fresh and irreverent. You can do even better things as you get more experience.