A STORY OF LOVE, BETRAYAL AND REGRET

‘I love you, Jason’.

Those were the last words I said before kîlling him. Jason was my boyfriend and I loved him so much. I had poisóned his food.

I did everything good just to keep and save our relationship. We had been childhood lovers who grew up together, attended the same school and got approval from each other's families over time to be together.

He was older than me with just two months but one could think those two months were two years. He grew muscles so fast and he looked so mature, sèxy and hot.

When we were both 20 years old, he asked if we could have sèx. I didn't know what to tell him or even how to say NO so I just did what I did to please and keep the relationship going.

‘Even if you decide to have sèx when you clock 50 years, I'll still be the one to do it. It will still be with me. So, why the delay? Why not do it now’? He had said that evening. He made me believe that it was going to be him and me for all eternity.

Just a few days before our graduation from Higher Institution, he started getting too close to my friend, Chisom. Chisom was dating my elder brother, so, at first, I thought it was alright but she started hiding a lot of things from me, her best friend and I overheard my brother constantly arguing on the phone with her.

I didn't know what to do even after talking to Jason about it countless times. He denied it and he covered it up by helping her with her project work. A few days before our last exams, someone sent me a video of my boyfriend and my brother's girlfriend kissing and I couldn't control the rage I felt.

I suddenly remember his words the day he took my virginity; ‘it's going to be me and you forever’ and I just felt the urge of kîlling him for lying and betraying me.

I made Jason's favorite meal that evening, poisóned the food, left a note with just three words, left the food on the table and went home.

‘Only the news of his death will make me come back to this apartment’ I said to myself.

I dropped a WhatsApp text for him that I was going to join him soon. It was a perfect plan because the handwritten notes were in Chisom’s handwriting. I had someone to get it done.

It was a perfect plan. It was so perfect but it wasn't perfect enough because my brother who went over to Jason's house to talk things out was the one who ate the food.

Who do I forgive myself for killing my own brother? 💔