My Struggle With Depression Lately

Lately I have fought so hard to overcome depression due to pressing situation and demanding days, there are days it feels so lonely and I get overwhelmed by the things that's happening around me. There are days I would wake up and feel there is nothing to live for, yes I have felt that even the past week.

I never knew how bad life could be till all these things set in, you know a guy in his late 20s trying to figure out life and how and what it means. I have tried to measure up something's but at some point it feels nothing is adding up and this is where it gets really hard, I have lost touch of reality at some point and most time I question my existence.

These overwhelming situation has kept me right away from the light and the only thing my mind could picture was the darkness around me and I was blinded over light and how well I could live through this pains, nothing really made sense to me as much as it should because I have pulled walls down just to get up like my peers.

Also, what has really added to this depression is when I would put in my 100 and still won't see a single output, this is where the real band is played on my head and sometimes I feel like maybe I am not just doing enough or maybe I am not destined to live this stage of life but then how come my peers are able to scale up effortlessly? This question has been ringing so hard.

I just don't know if life is making sense to others and at the same time deal with others badly because right now I am at the odd side and nothing makes much sense to me anymore and I wish I could get the encouragement to stop living in pains.

It all started from a little sad day and till now I am still trying to figure out why others are happy and others are sad, what is really the code to happiness? I know you might think I am not contented with the little wins but no, I am at the same time I am tired of the status quo and I wish everything makes sense at the end. When I will exchange this dark heart for a joyous smile and peaceful mind.