Returning to the hope of fulfilling my dreams..

The reality of life is very difficult. We ourselves do not know when we fall victim to a situation. How much sacrifice I made to fulfill my goals in life. How much suffering I endured. Finally, what success I have seen. The answer may not come to me in Jigal. I am still fighting every moment towards my dreams and goals.

Although this struggle of my life has been going on since childhood, it has taken a real shape since 2023. When I completed my diploma and came to take admission to study in Duet, my dream place. I worked day and night to study in my dream place. But after a long 14 months of hardship, I had to accept defeat after losing to fate. I could not reach my goal. I lost, and since then I have been mentally broken, which you have also been able to know after reading my many posts.

Only two chances. In the first of them, I could not get a place in my favorite campus. I will get a chance again next year. That means I will be able to take the exam this year too. For this reason, I went to Ghazipur again in January to take the Long A admission exam. But due to my physical illness, I could not stay in Ghazipur and returned home after four months. Since then, my life has been completely chaotic. I could not understand what to make a decision. Meanwhile, my family was saying that I will not give admission anymore and I should get a job. Because at the same time, financial problems were arising. I could not think of what to do. Meanwhile, my illness was also increasing day by day.

However, I had made up my mind that I would give admission wherever I live. Seven months passed like this. I also suddenly joined a new job last month, which you all know. Even then, I was also studying for admission along with my job. My admission exam was on the 10th of this month. This was my second chance. If not this time, I will not get another chance to give admission in my entire life. Looking at my luck, I left home for Ghazipur last Saturday to take the exam again.

I reached a friend's mess at 1 pm. Then I came back fresh and after finishing Zuhr prayers, I had lunch in the mess. Then I slept a little. I had traveled for more than 3 hours to Ghazipur, due to which I had a headache. Then I got up at Asr time and after praying, I sat down to study. This is how the previous day passed. The next morning, after Fajr prayers, I came back and took a little sleep first. Because it is my habit to sleep after Fajr prayers in the morning. Otherwise, my headache hurts. I woke up around 8 o'clock. My exam was at 2 pm. That is why I slept in the morning. The exam was held in two shifts. In the first shift, Civil, Mechanical, Computer, Textile Department exams were held. And in the afternoon shift, EEE, Chemical Department exams were held.

After lunch in the mess, I prayed Zuhr prayers in the room and got ready to go to a big battle field of my life. Our EEE department will give a total of 1763 exams. Out of which only 120 people will get a chance. It is nothing but luck. 14+ will fight for a seat. How many months of hard work are required to get this one seat. How much money is required to be spent. I left the room at around 1 pm after reciting the name of Allah Ta'ala to go for the exam. After walking for about 10 minutes from the mess, the main gate of Duet came into view. Hundreds of students were standing in front of the gate. I entered with a heavy heart. I went back to the place where I had failed once. I don't know what Allah Ta'ala will do this time.

But this time my morale was not so light. I told myself that if I had the courage, I would definitely get a chance. As usual, I gave the exam and left after 4:30 pm. The exam was 2 hours and 30 minutes of 300 marks. Out of which 120 marks were MCQs and 180 marks were written. I tried my best to write. I left the rest to Allah Ta'ala. If He wills, I will get a chance, otherwise I won't. Hundreds of students broke down in tears after taking the exam. I had held myself back with a lot of difficulty. Then I went to my room without standing for long on the campus.

I tried for two years today to study in my dream place. Maybe there were many flaws in my attempt. Still, I did not give up hope. The results may be given by next Thursday or Friday. I do not know what will happen in the results, but I hope that if Allah Ta'ala wants, there will be a chance. Even if not, you have to understand your mind. Even if it is difficult, you have to accept the reality.