Tell Your Story #51 | Every Bro-ken Girl Deserves Love Always ❤️

ukpono (66)in Ladies Universe • last month (edited)

Some words bring solace to the soul, while other words puncture the heart until it deflates beyond repair.

_{By Roberto Nickson from Pexels}

THE EXPERIENCE

Year after year, we hear girls share their personal stories with their followers, family and friends.

Last week alone, I read different girlies’ experiences about their childhood, motherhood, personal struggles and victories.

My mind thought that it had seen it all until this 16-year-old girl shared how she feels uncomfortable when she does not receive a compliment.

Let's paint this scenario

Imagine dressing up in the morning, loving yourself in the mirror, and stepping out with the hope that someone will validate your looks.

Sounds absurd, right?

But this was the reality of the 16-year-old who will feel gloomy all day if she steps out and no one calls her "achalugo", "uyai", or even catcalls her.

_{By Galina Zhigalova from Canva}

At first, I thought it was some form of obsession, requiring serious deliverance, until I realised the beauty expectation placed on females.

As girls, you might have grown up hearing that a woman is beautiful if she has these features:

An hour-glass figure
A cute face, with a pointed nose, of course.
A flawless skin
Straight long legs, and
Super curvy hips, supported with a big, round, voluptuous derriere (one that surpasses the famous callipygian venus)

In fact, to them you are not complete if you lack the last one.

For someone who had survived a ghastly accident, she was super-conscious of her looks. The trauma of being body-shamed still lingered. She wanted to know that she was loved and accepted even with her scars.

THE IMPACT OF BODY-SHAMING

_{By FatCamera on Canva}

Body-shaming is an experience most girls face during their teenage years. Somehow, this has a way of creeping into their adulthood.

Let's consider the severe effect body-shaming has on victims.

a. Extreme insecurity
Some witty concerns and jokes only end up making girls insecure about their physical appearance. I have met girls who keep changing clothes, wear makeup or save up for corrective surgery just to feel good. Gradually, they lose confidence in themselves and seek external validation frequently.

b. Self-doubt
Body-shaming has led many to shy away from things they normally loved. I have listened to girls complain that their self-esteem dropped after someone jokingly called them “mosquito”, “rabbit ears” or “bag of potatoes”.

In fact, one of my young friends stopped participating in class because wherever she stands up, other girls make snide remarks like,

“Ha! Thank God, I don't have to walk about with a plank on my back”.

“Do your bones shift when you sit?”

“You'd need a stone in your bag so this fan doesn't blow you away”.

Funny as these might sound, they affected the psychology of the girls in question.

FIXING THE BRO-KEN GIRL

_{By Crystal Sing on Canva}

Personally, these stories caused a mindshift in me. It reminds me of the need to be cautious of every word that leaves my mouth. Right now, I'm conscious never to spew out words that tend to ridicule a woman's body or appearance. I'm also conscious never to take advantage of their insecurities.

The thing about body-shaming is that it manifests our internalised beliefs about our own bodies. Body-shamers are often those who receive negative messages about themselves. Gradually, they soon begin to project these beliefs to others just to feel better.

Can you remember that girl who jokingly called another girl skinny or made fun of your physical features? That's her insecurity speaking.

This justifies the saying that:

Judging a lady by her appearance doesn't define her. It defines YOU.

Do you agree?