Ah, lovely post. I enjoyed reading every minute of this. I know what you're describing and it's how I felt in my twenties -- stuck in a world that wants me to be something I'm not but at the same time telling me to relax and distract myself because everything will be fine.

Would you believe that the solution I found was probably the most simplest solution I could ever find? And it took years of soul searching and doubling back on my childhood and teenage years? I learned to just roll with what the world threw at me and adjust my behaviour accordingly. I became a batter instead of a pitcher. Instead of trying to control the pitcher to throw a different ball, I rolled with whatever ball he threw me, adjusted myself accordingly, and knocked it for a home run!

Hang in there - I promise it gets easier :)