I did create a religion but it all went horribly wrong. I witnessed a miracle, I was hungry one morning and put some bread into the toaster, miraculously it brought forth warm wholesome 'holy toast' that sated my hunger.
I found some people and told them of the miracle, and they asked to taste the holy toast, but it was clear to me that the devine toast-giver should not be tested too often and reminded these followers that the holy toast required their faith to be unconditional.
A few years past and we had more revelations through the miraculous application of butter and jam; and this is where it all started to fall apart. The group split into factions of the Breadites, the Butterites and the Jammies. The factions argued over the true meaning and message of the holy toast, and fighting began between them. Even within the factions disagreements raged, the Marmeladians insisted they were Jammies, but then the Jammies referred to doctrine and said there had been no reference to citrus in any of the original scriptures and ejected and persecuted any Marmeladians from their ranks, whereupon to show their true faith the Marmeladians stole the holy toaster and crammed it with bread to prove their condiments were acceptable too. The holy toaster was angry and failed to bring forth toast, instead spitting fire and burning down the communal compound where the whole religion was based. Every member died, except for me, I was out buying a loaf of bread.